My Insomnia-Fueled 5-Round Mock Draft

It's past midnight here at Illinois College. I'm out of homework. My roommate is still up playing League of Legends. The light from Squidbillies on the TV creates a soft glow to the room. The rest of campus is mostly asleep, while visions of Jacob Tucker's 2011 Dunk Championship dance in their head. More to the point, I have class all day tomorrow and should be getting a good night's sleep. All logical sense points to that conclusion. So what do I do? Create V2.0 of my 2012 mock. Hey, none of us are perfect. Besides, college is a place where you learn everything there is to know about logic, and then never apply it. So, here we are. Again, comments and suggestions are welcome, but don't be a dick (or call me lazy, because mocks are one of the few things I am not lazy at). I do not expect everyone to agree with my picks, nor should I, but at least try to understand my reasoning.

Round 1

1. Colts: Andrew Luck/QB (Stanford) ESPN has been trying to ratchet up the "maybe it will be RG3" talk. It's bullshit, don't worry. There's no story or suspense until pick 4, so they're trying to create something where there's nothing. Typical.

2. Redskins (from Rams): Robert Griffin III/QB (Baylor) Last mock, I predicted the Rams would get two firsts, two seconds, and a third for this spot. One 'Skins fan commented: "5 picks in the first 3 rounds for RGIII? Oh you’re a Rams fan, I get it now." Yeah, good call dude. In all seriousness, both sides win this trade. My boys get a foundation to actually build a winning team in the future, and the 'Skins get something they haven't had in a long time: a real franchise QB with freakish skills. Did they pay a metric shit-ton? Of course they did, that's the price for a guy like this. Griffin will be an eventual pro-bowler. The Skins made the right choice.

3. Vikings: Matt Kalil/OT (USC) A no brainer. The best tackle in the draft, the BPA, and a position of need. The Vikes will love this guy.

4. Browns: Trent Richardson/RB (Alabama) You blew it, Browns. You had your shot at RG3, and you blew it. Your #22 pick was apparently too precious for you to give up. Now, they're in a really awkward position. They need a QB, and none fit here. No, they won't take Ryan Tannehill at this spot. Likely, Colt McCoy will get another year. The consolation is, they'll probably be in good position to get Matt Barkley or Tyler Bray next year. A lot of Browns fans want Blackmon here. Prepare to be disappointed. Holmgren will not take a WR here. Here's some logic behind it: you don't have a franchise QB. So nobody is set in stone to be throwing it to Blackmon. You also don't have a RB. Hillis is gone, now you're left with Montario Hardesty and Chris Ogbonnaya. Since you aren't going to have a really good passing attack next year, get yourself a good running attack for now and work on the passing game later. Richardson is a really good player and fits a need, I don't see why this should inspire so much complaining.

5. Bucs: Morris Claiborne/CB (LSU) Ronde Barber decided not to hang it up...yet. Next year will probably be it for him. This is fine, the man can retire whenever he damn well pleases. Eric Wright got signed, but honestly, it was one of the worst signings I've seen. (Memories of Alvin Harper should have flashed through Bucs fans' heads). Claiborne can be a lockdown corner one Barber is gone, and is possibly the BPA.

6. Rams (from 'Skins): Justin Blackmon/WR (OK St.) The Rams have to be praying that this scenario plays out. It will be Claiborne, Blackmon, or TRich, whoever is there, but WR is and has been a huge need for St. Louis. If St Louis can't get anybody here to protect Sam, they will at least get him someone to throw to.

7. Jaguars: Melvin Ingram/DE (South Carolina) As I mentioned last time, the Jags are tough to mock to. They do some weird shit. I won't be too hard on them since a hometown hero just snubbed his shot at being their guy to go back up for the Mark Sanchez. This a very Gene Smith-like pick. i could see Michael Floyd going here, but I'll say they go pass rush. Don't quote me on that.

8. Dolphins: Ryan Tannehill/QB (Texas A&M) Should Miami do this? Probably not. They'll probably hate this mock, and perhaps they should. But today I was doing homework when I heard random ESPN guy go "the Dolphins will have an open competition for QB between Matt Moore and David Garrard". I immediately was stricken with indigestion. That's not great. Besides, as the old cliche goes, new regimes mean new QBs.

9. Panthers: Dontari Poe/DT (Memphis) Another pick I'm meh on. Riley Reiff is a possibility, but I don't see Carolina using a first round pick on a position where they can probably stay put for now. DT is a bigger concern. Fua and McClain will work best in a rotation next to a solid, every down guy.

10. Bills: Riley Reiff/OT (Iowa) This pick is no longer a pass rusher, since Buffalo just signed two. (Congrats on the Mario Williams signing, by the way) It's pretty unclear where Demetrius Bell is going to wind up, and OT is a position you can't afford to be sketchy on.

11. Chiefs: David DeCastro/G (Stanford) If Poe is here, I think he'll be the pick. Since he isn't, and KC needs help shoring up their O Line to create bigger lanes for Jamaal Charles and Peyton Hillis, I have them taking the best guard prospect in years.

12. Seahawks: Quinton Coples/DE (UNC) The Seahawks run a really weird defensive scheme. They like their DEs to be big and sturdy, more like five-techniques. All UNC players come with question marks, but I think Coples is a perfect fit.

13. Cardinals: Luke Kuechly/ILB (Boston College) This probably isn't the biggest area of need, but it's great value pick and a great, cornerstone-type player. With Kuechly on the inside, this front 7 of AZ will start to look pretty intimidating. Dude's a tackle machine.

14. Cowboys: Michael Brockers/DE (LSU) I'll be honest, I had trouble with this pick. The Cowboys have filled most of their needs via free agency. The D-line is one of the places that hasn't been addressed. Brockers is big for a five-technique, but has the athleticism and versatility to pull it off.

15. Eagles: Fletcher Cox/DT (Mississippi St.) Ray Didinger said this pick will be a DT. Ray Didinger knows a lot more about the Eagles than I do. Andy Reid loves to have a solid rotation on the D-Line, and Cox is a great prospect.

16. Jets: Michael Floyd/WR (Notre Dame) This is more of a value pick. Chaz Schilens was signed, but Floyd is far superior, and Santonio Holmes is a crazy person. Whoever is leading the 3-ring circus that will be the Jets next year will love having Floyd as a target.

17. Bengals (from Raiders): Dre Kirkpatrick/CB (Alabama) It makes too much sense not to happen. CB is a big need for the Bengals, and Kirkpatrick fits the value very well. Blah blah blah Bengals don't care about character issues blah blah blah you've heard it all before

18. Chargers: Courtney Upshaw/OLB (Alabama) Picking an Alabama defender is almost an instant win by default. Larry English has not been impressive. Jarrett Johnson was brought in (a signing that I thought was very good), but a guy across from him is needed. Larry English hasnt been very good at all.

19. Bears: Jonathan Martin/OT (Stanford) This could easily be Kendall Wright, but if Martin falls, the Bears could easily snag him. I don't like J'Marcus Webb as the starting LT, even though Mike Tice loves him. Martin is a really solid prospect with a low bust potential.

20. Titans: Cordy Glenn/G (Georgia) This pick was always going to be a G or DE, but with the Wimbley signing, DE probably won't happen (sorry, Whitney mercilus). The Titans line needs work, and this will be a big boost.

21. Bengals: Mark Barron/S (Alabama) Not many guys fit need here, so they reach very slightly for Barron. Reggie Nelson was re-signed, but they still need an upgrade over Chris Crocker. Barron and Kirkpatrick would step in and immediately make the Bengals secondary pretty intimidating.

22. Browns (from Falcons): Kendall Wright/WR (Baylor) There Cleveland, you get your receiver too. Was it worth not getting RG3 over? Most likely no, but this actually would be a really good pick. Kendall Wright would be an awesome compliment to Greg Little. Whoever winds up being the QB in 2013 would be stepping into a much better situation because of this.

23. Lions: Janoris Jenkins/CB (North Alabama) Yeah yeah, BPA, we know. In this case, BPA pays off because it happens to fill a big, big need for Detroit. Their offense is frightening and only getting better, but if they want to compete for the NFC, they can't be letting Drew Brees or Aaron Rodgers be throwing all over them. All NFC contenders need to be boosting their secondaries.

24. Steelers: Dont'a Hightower/ILB (Alabama) The Steelers have a history of great ILBs. One of the recent greatest, James Farrior, won't be back next year. Whether Hightower can be Jack Hamm is something we shouldn't even consider, but he is a solid pick at 24.

25. Broncos: Devon Still/DT (Penn State) With Brodrick Bunkley leaving for New Orleans, this need becomes more dire. Peyton will have a huge hand in the draft, but he's smart and understands that needs outside of the offense need to be filled too.

26. Texans: Stephen Hill/WR (Georgia Tech) Texans fans weren't too fond of me mocking Kendall Wright to them last time. This time, I give them a different guy. The position definitely needs addressed. Peyton is gone, so it's their time to dominate the AFC South before Tennessee catches up. They can't do so with just Kevin Walter and Jacoby Jones across from the beastly Andre Johnson. They need to be going all in, and to do so, WR has to be upgraded. Hill is a rising prospect, so he could go even higher than this.

27. Patriots (from Saints): Whitney Mercilus/OLB (Illinois) Wow, the Pats get pretty lucky. Don;t be surprised to see the Pats take multiple pass rushers in the draft. A solid pass rush would make them even more scary to play. Mercilus is truly a top-25 talent, so this is a steal.

28. Packers: Nick Perry/OLB (USC) Another lucky pick. The Packers' only really glaring weakness is a guy across from Clay Matthews. Nick Perry could easily fill that void. I could see him going as high as 18, so the Pack gets great value and fills a need.

29. Ravens: Peter Konz/C (Wisconsin) Matt Birk was re-signed, but he's been playing football since the Pleistocene Era, so a replacement should be looked at. Konz can be that guy, and can perhaps play guard until then.

30. Niners: Coby Fleener/TE (Stanford) When I first saw Walter Cheripinsky make this prediction, I hated it. I then realized that the Niners don't just have a ton of needs. Also, Harbaugh seems to be on the dual-TE train, and I don't think Delanie Walker is what he has in mind. Joe Staley and Isaac Sopoaga probably aren't viable solutions there either, although points for ingenuity.

31. Patriots: Stephon Gilmore/CB (South Carolina) Let's face it, this pick will probably be traded. If not, well, the Pats secondary could always use a boost. I really like Gilmore, and he could provide some solidity. Julian Edelman should not be playing defensive back. (By the way, to that Pats fan who hates how Mark Barron keeps getting mocked here, you're welcome buddy)

32. Giants: David Wilson/RB (Virgina Tech) If Coby Fleener is here, I'd go with him. Since Martellus Bennett got signed, the G-Men can probably afford to wait till pick 63 for another TE. Brandon Jacobs is gone, and the Football Giants aren't a one-RB offense, so it's a good idea to pounce on a RB here before teams start making a run on them.

Round 2

33. Rams: Mike Adams/OT (Ohio State)

34. Colts: Alshon Jeffery/WR (South Carolina)

35. Vikings: Alfonzo Dennard/CB (Nebraska)

36. Bucs: Zach Brown/OLB (UNC)

37. Browns: Brock Osweiler/QB (Arizona State)

38. Jags: Brandon Weeden/QB (OK St.)

39. Rams (from 'Skins): Jerel Worthy/DT (Michigan St.)

40. Panthers: Jayron Hosley/CB (VA Tech)

41. Bills: Reuben Randle/WR (LSU)

42. Fins: Andre Branch/DE (Clemson)

43. Seahwaks: Lavonte David/LB (Nebraska)

44. Chiefs: Alameda Ta'Amu/NT (Washington)

45. Cowboys: Vinny Curry/OLB (Marshall)

46. Eagles: Bobby Wagner/LB (Utah St.)

47. Jets: Ronnell Lewis/OLB (Oklahoma)

48. Pats (from Raiders): Kendall Reyes/DE (UConn)

49. Chargers: Zebrie Sanders/OT (Florida State)

50. Bears: Mohamed Sanu/WR (Rutgers)

51. Eagles (from Cardinals): Harrison Smith/S (Notre Dame)

52. Titans: Brandon Thompson/DT (Clemson)

53. Bengals: Kevin Zeitler/G (Wisconsin)

54. Lions: Lamar Miller/RB (Miami)

55. Falcons: Kelechi Osemele/G/OT (Iowa State)

56. Steelers: Amini Silatolu/G (Midwestern State)

57. Broncos: Doug Martin/RB (Boise State)

58. Texans: Juron Criner/WR (Arizona)

[Saints: forfeited]

59. Packers: Billy Winn/DE (Boise State)

60. Ravens: Marvin McNutt/WR (Iowa)

61. Niners: Senio Kelemete/G (Washington)

62. Pats: Markelle Martin/S (OK St.)

63. Giants: Dwayne Allen/TE (Clemson)

Round 3

64. Colts: Josh Robinson/CB/KR (UCF)

65. Rams: Mychal Kendricks/OLB (Cal)

66. Vikings: Nick Toon/WR (Wisconsin)

67. Browns: Trumaine Johnson/CB/S (Montana)

68. Bucs: LaMichael James/RB (Oregon)

69. 'Skins: Bobby Massie/OT (Ole Miss)

70. Jags: Chase Minnifield/CB/KR (Virginia)

71. Bills: Dwight Bentley/CB (LA-Lafayette)

72. Fins: Orson Charles/TE (Georgia)

73. Fins (from Bears via Panthers): Chris Givens/WR (Wake Forest)

74. Chiefs: Kirk Cousins/QB (Michigan State)

75. Seahwaks: Brandon Boykin/CB/KR (Georgia)

76. Texans (from Eagles): Brandon Washington/G (Miami)

77. Jets: Andrew Datko/OT (Florida State)

[Raiders: forfeited: Terrelle Pryor/QB (Ohio St.)]

78. Chargers: Jared Crick/DE (Nebraska)

79. Bears: Ladarius Green/TE (LA-Lafayette)

80. Cardinals: Chandler Jones/OLB (Syracuse)

81. Cowboys: Ben Jones/C (Georgia)

82. Titans: Sean Spence/OLB (Miami)

83. Bengals: Tommy Streeter/WR (Miami)

84. Falcons: Casey Hayward/CB (Vanderbilt)

85. Lions: Philip Blake/C (Baylor)

86. Steelers: Josh Chapman/NT (Alabama)

87. Broncos: Marvin Jones/WR (Cal)

88. Eagles (from Texans): Nick Foles/QB (Arizona)

89. Saints: Tank Carder/LB (TCU)

90. Packers: Jarell Fleming/CB (Oklahoma)

91. Ravens: Shea McClellin/OLB (Boise State)

92. Niners: A.J. Jenkins/WR (Illinois)

93. Pats: Bruce Irvin/OLB (West Virginia)

94. Giants: Tony Bergstrom/G/OT (Utah)

95. Raiders: Jonathan Massaquoi/OLB (Troy)

Round 4

96. Rams: Isaiah Pead/RB (Cincinnati)

97. Colts: Michael Egnew/TE (Missouri)

98. Vikings: George Iloka/S (Boise State)

99. Texans (from Eagles via Bucs): Nigel Bradham/ILB (Florida State)

100. Browns: Jake Bequette/DE (Arkansas)

101. Jags: Ryan Broyles/WR (Oklahoma)

102. 'Skins: Antonio Allen/S (South Carolina)

103. Fins: Jeff Allen/OT (Illinois)

104. Panthers: Travis Lewis/OLB (Oklahoma)

105. Bills: Deangelo Peterson/TE (LSU)

106. Seahwaks: Audie Cole/ILB (N.C. State)

107. Chiefs: Josh Norman/CB (Coastal Carolina)

108. Broncos (from Jets): Michael Brewster/C (Ohio State)

109. 'Skins (from Raiders): Lucas Nix/G (Pitt)

110. Chargers: Chris Polk/RB (Washington)

111. Bears: Shaun Prater/CB (Iowa)

112. Cardinals: Mitchell Schwartz/OT (Cal)

113. Cowboys: Brandon Taylor/S (LSU)

114. Eagles: Brian Quick/WR (Appalachian St.)

115. Titans: Cam Johnson/DE (Virginia)

116. Bengals: Mike Martin/DT (Michigan)

117. Lions: Nate Potter/OT (Boise State)

118. Browns (from Falcons): Levy Adcock/OT (OK St.)

119. Steelers: Bernard Pierce/RB (Temple)

120. Broncos: B.J. Coleman/QB (Chattannooga St.)

121. Texans: Brandon Mosley/OT (Auburn)

122. Saints: Joe Adams/WR (Arkansas)

123. Packers: Robert Turbin/RB (Utah St.)

124. Bills (From Ravens): Keenan Robinson/OLB (Texas)

125. Niners: Janzen Jackson/S (McNeese St.)

126. Pats: Vontaze Burfict/ILB (Arizona St.)

127. Giants: Coryell Judie/CB (Texas A&M)

128. Brandon Brooks/G (Miami of Ohio)

129. Raiders: Nick Jean-Baptiste/NT (Baylor)

130. Ravens: Vick Ballard/RB (Mississippi St.)

131. Giants: Phillip Thomas/S (Syracuse)

132. Packers: James Brown/OL (Troy)

133. Packers: Trenton Robinson/S (Michigan State)

134. Vikings: Derek Wolfe/DT (Cincinnati)

135. Cowboys: Akiem Hicks/NT (Regina)

Round 5

136. Colts: Ryan Miller/G (Colorado)

137. Broncos (from Rams): Kheeston Randall/DT (Texas)

138. Vikings: James-Michael Johnson/LB (Nevada)

139. Browns: Emmanuel Acho/OLB (Texas)

140. Bucs: Matt Reynolds/OT (BYU)

141. 'Skins: Brandon Lindsey/OLB (Pitt)

142. Jags: Matt McCants/OT (UAB)

143. Panthers: T.Y. Hilton/WR/KR (FL International)

144. Bills: Case Keenum/QB (Houston)

145. Fins: Josh Kaddu/OLB (Oregon)

146. Chiefs: Trevor Guyton/DE (Cal)

147. Bills(from Seahwaks): Marcus Forston/DT (Miami)

148. Raiders: Ronnie Hillman/RB (San Diego St.)

149. Chargers: DeQuan Menzie/CB (Alabama)

150. Bears: David Molk/C (Michigan)

151. Cardinals: Tyrone Crawford/DE (Boise St.)

152. Cowboys: Ryan Steed/CB (Furman)

153. Eagles: Omar Bolden/CB (Arizona St.)

154. Jets: Aaron Henry/S (Wisconsin)

155. Titans: Donnie Fletcher/CB (Boston College)

156. Bengals: Cliff Harris/CB (Oregon)

157. Falcons: David Paulson/TE (Oregon)

158. Lions: Demario Davis/OLB (Arkansas St)

159. Steelers: Markus Zusevics/OT (Iowa)

160. Browns (from Broncos): Will Blackwell/G (LSU)

161. Texans: Asa Jackson/CB (Cal Poly)

162. Saints: Jaye Howard/DT (Florida)

163. Packers: Miles Burris/OLB (San Diego St.)

164. Ravens: Najee Goode/ILB (West Virginia)

165. Niners: Mike Daniels/DE (Iowa)

166. Bengals (from Pats): Cyrus Gray/RB (Texas A&M)

167. Giants: Tydreke Powell/DT (UNC)

168. Raiders: James Hanna/TE (Oklahoma)

169. Ravens: Keith Tandy/CB (West Virginia)

170. Colts: Hebron Fangupo/NT (BYU)

As the sweet sound of A Day to Remember flows through my eardrums and I try my hardest to keep myself from nodding off, I'm once again reminded of Abe Lincoln when he said you can satisfy all of the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you can't satisfy all the people all the time. However, that's part of the fun of mocking the draft it's all speculation, even the reactions. Have a wonderful night/day wherever you are, folks. This guy needs some sleep.

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