Field Guide To The Magical Powers Please Bestowed On You By Come Way Of Rhapsodic MLB Authentic Jerseys

posey jersey

You can buy your boring regular jerseys on the MLB.com site. But please consider these completely authentic jerseys that also give you special powers.

There's nothing like a grown man wearing a jersey with someone else's name on the back, right? It's like you get to pretend you're that player -- hittin' sliders and helpin' the team.

But what if there were more to jerseys than that? What if in addition to wearing the jersey of your favorite player, you could get special super powers from the jersey? Then you could be hittin' sliders, helpin' the team, and fightin' crime. I think I speak for everyone when I suggest that this is every adult's dream.

I'm not sure how the folks at CheapMLBJerseys.us pulled this off, but they're sitting on a stockpile of these super jerseys. The entire site is filled with jerseys that can make you a superfan. Literally a superfan. I've collected ten samples out of hundreds, and I'll do my best to explain the super powers with which you can be imbued, give you an example from popular culture, and allay your fears that these jerseys are somehow unofficial.

Star-divide

Quote from description:

You are the MLB loyal fan? Do you think they are very cool when they put on the authentic Mike Loweii jersey and walk to the victory?Would you like to put on the sameBoston Red Sox 25 White baseball jersey with them together and walk smartly in the stadium? If it has touched your mind,you could take actions at once

Super power:
Hyper-intelligence

Appearance of super power in comic book or popular culture:
Watchmen, Little Einsteins

Secret bonus:
You get a secret lair on the Hawaiian island of Loweii.

Officially licensed?
Absolutely. It says there are 1,000 of them in stock.

Screen_shot_2012-04-17_at_8


They wouldn't go to the trouble of making 1,000 of them without clearing this stuff, right?

Star-divide

Buster Posey San Francisco Giants jersey

Quote from description:

Are you often worried about them when you are watching the San Francisco Giants team's game?Do not worry about them.The quality of the San Francisco Giants Buster Posey jersey on their body is very light and sleazy and is owns favorable breathability and hydrophobic property,which can score for them.Do not belittle thismlb jerseys china,because a good jersey will become the forceful power of the Buster Posey players to match toward victory

Super powers:
1. Sleaze
2. Breathability
3. Fear of water
4. The forceful power of the Buster Posey players to match toward victory

Appearance of super power in comic book or popular culture:
1. Old Annette Funicello beach-party movies
2. Every living mammal, with the exception of Hunter Pence (gills).
3. A filmstrip I had to watch about rabies once
4. The 2010 Giants

Officially licensed?
Indisputably. Check this out:


If it were a knockoff, it'd have a name like "Burt Posey" or "Baxter Posey" on the back. Here, though, they put the full, correct name, so you know your jersey is genuine.

Star-divide

Ryan Theriot Chicago Cubs jersey

Quote from description:

How can you not take off the Chicago Cubs 2 White jersey for him and acclaim him by waving the authentic Chicago Cubs jersey? And you can make the air of the scene become fierier!And you can put on the cheap Ryan Theriot jersey and take photos with your hero!

Super powers:
1. Spontaneous generation of fire
2. Getting thrown out on the bases

Appearance of super power in comic book or popular culture:
1. Firestarter, The Human Torch
2. Ryan Theriot

Officially licensed?
Yep. It says the jersey is made from "100% polyester moister wicking performance mesh", which is pretty much standard now. Sounds legit.

Star-divide

Nick Markakis Baltimore Orioles Jersey

Quote from description:

When you choose a Baltimore Orioles 21 White jersey that is the same to the Nick Markakis player you like, you will experience the honor and disgrace from now on.

Super power:
The wearer can experience exactly what it feels like to be a Baltimore Oriole, telekinetically entering their thoughts and consciousness.

Appearance of super power in comic book or popular culture:
The Shittiest Superhero Ever (unpublished graphic novel)

Officially licensed?
Oh, yeah. The domain extension is ".us", which strongly suggests it's an American site, where copyright laws are strictly enforced.

Star-divide

Bobby Cox Atlanta Braves Jersey

Quote from description:

you can wear your favorite cheap Bobby Cox jersey and cheer for and applaud the team and players sitting in front of the television as if you were in the site,and it also make us feel grateful and excited.Come to select some Atlanta Braves 6 Grey jersey!Let us put on the Atlanta Braves Bobby Cox baseball jersey together and witness their legend together.

Super powers:
Omnipotence, possible teleportation, getting sucked into a computer

Appearance of super power in comic book or popular culture:
TRON, Lawnmower Man. This Bobby Cox jersey will probably make you like the Lawnmower Man.

Officially licensed?
Of course. There's no way that company in a totally different country would bother bootlegging Bobby Cox jerseys, right? Go with Occam's Razor on this one.

Star-divide

Michael Jordan White Sox Jersey

Quote from description:

Let us put on the MLB Michael Jordan jersey.Let us go to the gym of the stadium to witness resplendence of the Chicago White Sox team.Let us go to witness the wait of the generation,and let us go to the birth of the new king.cheapmlbjerseys.us is a web site professionally providing and wholesaling cheap mlb jerseys.The jerseys here are fully authorized.

Super powers:
1. Trippin' balls
2. Watching the birth of the messiah

Appearance of super power in comic book or popular culture:
1. That time you cut pre-calc with Chet and went to the Laserium
2. The King James Bible

Officially licensed?
It says they are fully authorized right in the description. Partially authorized would give you a problem, but you should be good with fully authorized.

Star-divide

Brandon Phillips Cincinnati Reds Jersey

Quote from description:

Thanks to those who once looked down on you and made you lead a more wonderful life.I believe that each Cincinnati Reds Brandon Philips jersey here all will give you unexpected feelings.

Super power:
Really, really, really unexpected feelings

Appearance of super power in comic book or popular culture:
Batman and Robin

Officially licensed?
Sure. Every one of the jersey pictures has an "All Rights Reserved" watermark on it. They wouldn't bother to do that unless everything was on the up and up.

Star-divide

Migue Cabera Detroit Tigers Jersey

Quote from description:

Let us put on the Detroit Tigers Migue Cabrera baseball jersey together and witness their legend together.Each mlb jerseys china will give a sunny feeling to you,each one,which will make you attractive,is different.You,what are you waiting for?

Super powers:
1. Hyper charisma
2. Ability to eradicate the letter "L"

Appearance of super power in comic book or popular culture:
1. Wizard of Oz, Robin Hood
2. Innocent children

Officially licensed?
Absolutely. There's a 24/7 chat-based support that's down now, but I'm sure it'll be up soon.



They probably manually reinsert the "We're back!" frames into the .gif every time they come back from a break. There's probably an easier way, but I'm not one to judge.

Star-divide

Joba Chamberlain Yankees Jersey

Quote from description:

You are the loyal supporter of the MLB event? Do you put some New York Yankees 62 jersey in your wardrobe?Every New York Yankees team has a special MLB Joba Chamberlain jersey.And each authentic New York Yankees 62 jersey writes down different stories about itself.

Super power:
Some sort of anthropomorphic writing shirt that's composing an autobiography that you can use to distract your enemies? Look, I don't know.

Appearance of super power in comic book or popular culture:
Not sure, but a lengthy search led me to this, so it was totally worth it:


Weaknesses and vulnerabilities exposed to:
Trampolines made out of kryptonite, yellow trampolines (Green Lanterns only), trampolines in general

Officially licensed?
You bet. On every page you get one of these:

Mlb_licensed_medium

MLB doesn't just hand those logos out.

Star-divide


Harry Halladay Toronto Blue Jays Jersey

Quote from description:

Do not look down on this mlb jerseys china,because a good jersey will be powerful weapon of the Harry Halladay players walking to the gate of the success.Would you like to own a same cheap Toronto Blue Jays 32 Blue jersey with the Toronto Blue Jays Harry Halladay players?Each kind of the Harry Halladay jersey all flow over sweat of heroes,and each kind of the cheap Toronto Blue Jays 32 Blue jersey all contains supreme honor of heroes.

Super power:
The ability to find out that Roy Halladay's name is really Harry.

Appearance of super power in comic book or popular culture:
That time you really paid attention to the words at the top of Halladay's page on Baseball Reference instead of just staring at the stats, mouth agape.

Officially licensed?
Dudes took the time to track down Roy Halladay's birth name. And you're thinking that they aren't going to take a few seconds and run this by a lawyer? Man, that's cynical. Plus, when I search for "Harry Halladay officially licensed", it's like the fourth result. It has the Google Algorithm seal of approval.

***


The SB Nation YouTube Channel | Subscribe Now | Follow @SBNStudios


X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join SBNation.com

You must be a member of SBNation.com to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SBNation.com. You should read them.

Join SBNation.com

You must be a member of SBNation.com to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SBNation.com. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.