There are few SPORTS events on Wednesday night, leading to an outstanding discovery on ESPN2: Men's slowpitch softball. Think about that for a moment. This is being shown on national television. And it's Team USA vs. The Futures, which sounds like a AAA baseball game but is really veteran softballers battling the future of the game. The future looks bright (and kinda old, too).
Just click through for GIFs.
You're probably thinking "Beer League." I mean, it's natural. But look! Athleticism and agility!
And there was even a webgem!
This was the Team USA catcher:
And this is the risk a pitcher faces:
The fun part about this all: The 10-dinger rule. Each team is only allowed to hit 10 home runs per game. Any further home runs become outs, leading to some hilariously sad moments. It looks like a home run and it goes a long way, but alas it's just a long out that lands on a building beyond the outfield wall.
Finally, some actual quotes from Beth Mowins, who is on play-by-play.
"It's been a shootout so far. 68 hits from the two teams. And they have scored 70 runs."
"The Futures put up 16 in the 2nd. The National Team responded with 20 in the fifth."
"A little defensive shenanigans may have gotten into the head of the hitter a little bit."
"His last at-bat was a HOMEROUT."
Before the bottom of the seventh, "Call Me Maybe" was playing over the PA.
I'll be honest: I'm going to actively seek out slowpitch softball from now on. Come for the possibility of a pitcher being maimed; stay for the homerouts.