Home Run Derby 2012: Jose Bautista Slugs Dingers

While I was writing about Carlos Beltran, Jose Bautista came up and started making outs. At this pace I won't be able to keep up! At this pace everybody else will just keep on making outs and Beltran will win in like twenty minutes. Rooting for this pace. I watch the Mariners about 150 times a year and I can't appreciate these home runs so I can't even imagine how a regular baseball fan must feel.

Buster Olney just told us where Jose Bautista's Derby pitcher went to college. (Holy Cross.) No story, no joke, no follow-up, no anything. Just information. A friend of mine went to the University of Redlands. Now you have that information too, which is just as valuable.

Bautista is hitting some dingers, which is probably old hat for him by now. He should try going the other way because you're never too big for the fundamentals. Do you think Chris Berman actually gets as much of a thrill out of each individual home run as he acts like, or is he just a consistent and convincing actor? Chris Berman has seen thousands upon thousands of home runs. Each one is like his first time seeing one with his eyes after reading about them in books. Chris Berman might be a better actor than Erik Per Sullivan. Somehow all of my live-blogs come back to Dewey from Malcolm In The Middle. Oh Bautista just finished with 11 home runs. Up next is a Rockies player hitting somewhere that isn't Coors Field. Now would be a good time to go do the drugs you'll need to do to get through the next two and a half hours of this.

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