Guess What Nick Saban Is Using A Remote Control For

Nick Saban is a god. A god of trickery and technology, that is! The Alabama Crimson Tide head coach has all sorts of crafty chicanery up his sleeves (along with all them national championships, roll tide). His Loki-like mischievousness extends to illusions that are intended to impress potential recruits. You'll never believe how impressive his latest trick is.

Keith Niebuhr of 247Sports.com posted this incredibly eye-opening tweet on Wednesday.

According to 2014 4-star OT Donell Stanley, #Alabama coach Nick Saban uses a remote control to shut his office door.

— Keith Niebuhr (@Niebuhr247) August 15, 2012

A remote-control door-closer! Hot damn that's some classy, high-tech stuff! Probably the kind of thing you can't even find in SkyMall. I can't believe that Stanley didn't sign on the spot the second Saban hit that button and his door swung shut as though moved by the invisible hand of Zeus.

On the other hand, it seems as though Saban is severely dropping the ball here by not installing a voice-activated mechanism that closes the door when he hollers, "CLOSE TIDE."

Let's hope that other college coaches start picking up on the "impress recruits via remote control" fad. Some humble suggestions:

Florida Gators: Remote-control bail bondsman.

LSU Tigers: Just push the button and they're automatically ranked No. 2. It's magic!

Mississippi Rebels: Remote-controlled recording of the AD saying "We'll get 'em next year!"

Maryland Terrapins: Convenient, one-touch transferring.

Notre Dame Fighting Irish: Press a button and a quarterback punches a cop.

TCU Horned Frogs: "Yeah. Yeaahhhhh. Sure. Yeah, I know a guy."

/winks

/pushes button

/puts on "Dark Side of the Moon"

For all news and information regarding the Alabama Crimson Tide, please visit Roll 'Bama Roll. For complete coverage of the remote control uses of head coaches throughout the NCAA, stay tuned to SB Nation's dedicated college football hub.