The replacement NFL referees sure have a thankless job. They're taking on an already crummy and widely-ridiculed position, but they're not even the guys who are supposed to be there. They're the understudy dung-shovelers. The stand-in carnival janitors. They're the guy who opens for Jeff Dunham.
But still, though: they should probably be familiar with a football and how to at least attempt to catch one. Because this business simply will not fly:
"Hey I'll take th--OHJESUSWHATISTHIS. Oh dang, man. Dang. Give me a dang heart attack over here with this ... this ... gently-tossing-the-ball-to-me business. Everyone just settle down here. SETTLE DOWN, EVERYONE."
/everyone is already milling around on the sidelines
"Yeah, that's better. Just watch it, buddy. Liable to ... put someone's ... eye out ... "
/trails off
/literally no one is paying attention
"Ahem. Third down. I MEAN FIRST, POOP."
For more on the Eagles and Patriots, please visit our respective blogs Bleeding Green Nation and Pats Pulpit, along with SBNation.com for all the latest news and updates.
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