Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is one of the more well-known team owners in sports. He's sort of like what would have happened if Al Davis had been born a goofy weirdo rather than ... well ... Al Davis. Recently, the people at Papa John's Pizza decided that the best way to harness the anticipation for the upcoming NFL season was to enlist Jerry Jones to rap about pizza. Be forewarned: you're about to see an old white dude rapping badly about pizza. But there will be GIFs!
The below video comes to our attention via Brandon Stroud at With Leather.
Okay, so this video is clearly cringe-worthy and can fill you with an intense sense of dread (and super-crummy pizza), so let's break some of these moments down into more easily digestible GIFs.
First up is the realization that Jerry Jones doing "hip-hop hand gestures" is way more suggestive than it should be.
That is filthy Jerry and I would like you to stop that this instant. Also, the above GIF is a pretty good study in "people faking like they're having an awesome time." Check out the dude on the right there. "Just side to side, man. Just keep going. Smile it up. You need this payday as an extra in a Papa John's commercial, dammit."
"It lights me up / Like a Roman candle."
Papa John's Ad Exec 1: Hey, what are we gonna do with all these terrible pizzas?
Papa John's Ad Exec 2: Oh man, you know who loves really awful pizza?
Papa John's Ad Exec 1: WHO?!
Papa John's Ad Exec 2:
Jerry Jones is also extremely impressed by "The Robot."
Please feel free to open the following image in a new tab while you play "Twinz (Deep Cover '98)" or "Keep Their Heads Ringin'":
But I shall leave you with Jerry and the Papa John's guy perpetually jumping off of and onto a short flight of stairs, forever.
My god ... it's full of stars.