The Texas A&M Aggies kicked off their inaugural season in the SEC by losing to the Florida Gators on Saturday. TAMU head coach Kevin Sumlin was obviously displeased by the turn of events and did a bit of venting on Tuesday. At one point, Sumlin accused the Florida players of "flopping," but probably not in the way you're thinking.
This was the money quote that Sumlin dropped on Tuesday:
Sumlin said his team appeared in good shape in the opener against Florida and "it wasn’t our team flopping around on the field in the second half." I asked him if the Gators’ "flopping around" was because of conditioning or something else. "You were there," he responded.
Sumlin's insinuation was that perhaps Florida wasn't prepared for the hectic pace that A&M keeps up, so they may have been exaggerating some "injuries" and "cramps" that they seemed plagued by in the second half of Saturday's game, in a bid to slow things down.
This obviously worked, as evidenced by the win, which makes Florida a gang of geniuses. Criminal geniuses. But before Sumlin gets too angry, here's a look at some of the tactics Florida had drawn up in case the "fake a cramp" gambit hadn't paid off:
- Spies planted in the TAMU rooting section saying horrible things about Reveille the Dog, in hopes of instigating a riot
- Releasing a swarm of irritated bees
- The patented "Will Muschamp fainting spell"
- Putting fake goatees on the players and claiming they're ineligible Mirror Universe players
- Florida boosters take to the field operating a 30-foot papier-mâché dinosaur, while sideline personnel wave their arms and scream "DINOSAUR ON THE FIELD DINOSAUR ON THE FIELD THE GAME MUST END IN A TIE"