For weeks, Terek Grozny has terrorized Russia's elite. There was no way to explain their reign of terror through the Russian Premier League, which reached its high point last weekend with a jaw-dropping 2-0 road win over table toppers and Champions League participants Zenit St. Petersburg. Nothing about any of their victories made sense. Thankfully, their nonsensical run was ended on Saturday, and all is right with the world.
In France, Paris Saint-Germain are charging up the table. They won their third straight league match over the weekend, and they're up to third in the Ligue 1 table. FC Porto had an extremely impressive week as well, and they top Liga Sagres.
Also, it's time to tell you about Pandurii Târgu Jiu, because you probably don't know about Pandurii Târgu Jiu. That was patronizing, but I'm fairly certain that I'm right.
Terek Grozny, we hardly knew ye
Lokomotiv Moscow went away to Grozny and dropped an easy 3-0 victory on their opponents, which also helped them pass Grozny in the table and move up to second in the RPL. Even though Grozny sit just two points off the top of the table, it seems safe to assume that their early season results were an anomaly, and that they'll be headed back to mid-table mediocrity.
Grozny actually held onto a draw for 62 minutes before conceding on a free kick. Lokomotiv made two subs in the 57th minute, bringing on Victor Obinna and Maicon, and those moves changed the game significantly. The first goal came on a free kick by Alexander Samedov, which was pinballed around the penalty area before Maksim Grigorjev finished. Both substitutes scored in the final 10 minutes of the game.
Volga, who entered the weekend in the bottom three, gave CSKA Moscow all they could handle. The underdogs went up 2-0 before halftime, but fell apart in the second half. Alan Dzagoev scored twice in an impressive comeback for CSKA, and Ahmed Musa netted the 87th minute winner to fire CSKA to a 3-2 victory and the top of the table. In Samara, Hulk made his first league start for Zenit and scored his first goal, but the reigning champions could only manage a 2-2 draw.
PSG roll, but Marseille keep their six-point cushion
Paris Saint-Germain disappointed with three draws to open the season in Ligue 1, but they appear to have figured out exactly how to best fit all of their new talent into a team. There isn't anything extremely impressive about a win over relegation candidates Bastia, but the Ligue 1 favorites were still excellent in a 4-0 win. Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored twice on the day, netting his sixth and seventh league goals in a PSG shirt. The goal was effectively ended in the 6th minute, when Jeremy Menez scored the opener, assisted by Ibrahimovic following a free kick. Blaise Matuidi was PSG's other scorer.
PSG are still chasing Marseille, who won their sixth straight match at home against Evian. They've only scored nine goals in six matches, but their defense has been outstanding to open the year, and they recorded their fifth shutout of the year in their 1-0 win. Lyon are also still in front of PSG in the table, though they lost a bit of ground with a respectable, but still slightly disappointing 1-1 draw away to Lille.
All hail Jackson Martinez
England's work permit rules, as well as the non-EU player limits in Spain and Italy, seem to cause a lot of quality players from the Americas to funnel to Portugal's big teams. The latest diamond in the rough from that region of the world to land at FC Porto is Colombian international Jackson Martinez, who arrived this summer from Mexican club Jaguares de Chiapas. He scored arguably the best goal anywhere in the world this week with a stunning bicycle kick in Porto's 4-0 win over Beira-Mar. His international teammate James Rodriguez also scored, along with Varela and Maicon.
Benfica started the week on top of the table on goal difference, but dropped down to second place by drawing 2-2 away to Academica. Braga kept pace with the big two by defeating Rio Ave 4-1 at home. Sporting Lisbon, who have just two points from three matches, host Gil Vicente on Monday.
Did Celtic win?
Yes, they did. The other teams with double digit points in the Scottish Premier League both drew. We're only pretending the SPL is a thing because Celtic managed to draw Benfica in Champions League, temporarily preserving their relevance.
Speaking of leagues that are temporarily relevant because of their best team's Champions League campaign...
Remember when BATE Borisov beat Lille 3-1 away, in France, in Champions League? Because that was a thing that happened. As long as BATE are relevant in world football -- which they are right now -- we'll keep an eye on what they're doing in Belarus. This weekend, they had a tough away match against Dinamo Minsk, who held them to a 0-0 draw. BATE are still top of the table.
CFR Cluj have similar status thanks to their 2-0 road win over Braga last week, but they dropped down to 8th in the Romanian Liga with a loss over the weekend. They went away to Pandurii Târgu Jiu and conceded two penalties to gift the home side a victory. Pandurii Târgu Jiu are top of the table in Romania with 22 points from nine matches, though they're yet to play either of the strong Bucharest teams.
Oh, remember Oţelul Galaţi? They're in the drop zone with five points from nine matches. Ouch.
FC Twente Keeps Rolling
Steve McClaren's second stint as FC Twente manager might include a run at an Eredivisie title, just like his first stint. They stayed perfect with a 1-0 victory over Heerenveen on Sunday. In the 58th minute, Ramon Zomer took down Felipe Gutierrez in the box, and Dusan Tadic stepped up to bury the penalty for Twente, scoring the game's only goal.
Ajax have been good at home this season, but they dropped points on the road again over the weekend. ADO Den Haag held them to a 1-1 draw, and they're now six points behind Twente. PSV Eindhoven were very impressive in a 3-0 win over Feyenoord, and they're also six points back of the leaders.
Galatasaray extend lead over rivals in Turkey
Their first big Istanbul derby of the year is a long way off, but Galatasaray look like serious title favorites in Turkey. They won their third straight in the Super Lig on Sunday, defeating Akhisar Belediyespor 3-0, thanks to a brace by Burak Yilmaz and another goal by Sercan Yildrim. Elsewhere, second placed Kasimpasa lost 1-0 away to Sivasspor and Besiktas fell 3-2 to Gaziantepspor. Fenerbahce host Trabzonspor in the best game of the week in the Super Lig on Monday.
Why was Club Brugge - Cercle Brugge a thing?
Club Brugge have not lost a game in the Belgian Pro League. Cercle Brugge only had one point from seven games entering their local derby match against the league leaders, and entered the game with a negative-11 goal differential. They played the game anyway, and better Brugge won 4-0. Surprise! Maxime Lestienne, Club Brugge's 20-year-old starlet Maxime Lestienne scored a hat trick, while Carlos Bacca added another.
Anderlecht got sucked into a dogfight away to Zulte-Waregem, but managed a couple of impressive comebacks. The Purple and White started with an extremely attacking lineup and were made to pay for it when they conceded just eight minutes in. They equalized before the end of the half and went ahead after 57 minutes, but Jens Naessens netted a surprise equalizer in the 64th minute.
Zulte-Waregem's lead wouldn't last. Aided by some abysmal goalkeeping, Tom De Sutter nodded in a cross by Milan Jovanovic in the 86th minute to win the match for Anderlecht.
Shakhtar stick it to Dynamo Kiev again
The Ukrainian Premier League was off this week. We don't usually watch the Ukrainian Cup, but this week, it's relevant. Shakhtar Donetsk, who lead the league, hosted title rivals Dynamo Kiev and laid a 4-1 smackdown on them over the weekend. This comes three weeks after Shakhtar beat Dynamo in the league, and less than a week after they defeated Nordsjaelland in Champions League. They're one of the strongest teams in Europe at the moment and will give Chelsea and Juventus all they can handle in Champions League's Group E.
I woke up with the power out, not really something to shout about
Real Madrid and Rayo Vallecano were supposed to play on Sunday. They couldn't, because someone cut the power to the floodlights at Rayo's ground. Everything's getting fixed up and the two sides are expected to play on Monday.