Well first the Chicago Bears announed they'd hired away Marc Trestman from the Montreal Allouettes, and then, "He has coached in an inferior football system for the past five years in a country more known for hockey and syrup than football. And he's the hire for the Chicago Bears? Wow. It's absolutely stunning that an NFL team would hire Trestman. Anyone can rack up huge offensive numbers coaching in Canada. They don't play defense, and the field is 700 yards wide. Anyone can coach a team to a Grey Cup. My grandma could coach in the Grey Cup. In fact, I'm pretty sure my grandma has coached in the Grey Cup. Don't get me wrong. I love the CFL. I love Canada. I LOVE CANADA! I just don't believe someone who has been coaching there for five years and out of the NFL for almost twice that time is a solid NFL head coaching hire."
THE FIELD IS 700 YARDS WIDE.
IT'S A COUNTRY KNOWN FOR HOCKEY AND SYRUP.
I LOVE CANADA!
[/breathes into paper bag]
Anyway, yes: Trestman could absolutely fail, and the Bears probably should kept Lovie Smith if we're being honest. But today let's just admire the insanity of the approach above.
YOUR GRANDMA COULD COACH THE GREY UP.
Sports are the best. For more, including a #great #take on Jay Cutler the coach killer, check out the rest of Mike Freeman's column at CBS Sports. In the meantime, let's all re-watch this clip from Canadian Bacon.