Bless you, Dave McMenamin, for digging up a very important story about Chris Kaman, Robert Sacre and strength and conditioning coach Tim DiFrancesco buying a cow to share. But:
This isn't like Billy Crystal's pet cow Norman in "City Slickers." The three of them are going in together on a full cow's worth of beef after it's been to the butcher, or approximately 400 pounds of cuts of meat for their freezers.
DiFrancesco, who has picked up the nickname "Grass-Fed Tim" around the team because of his belief in the health benefits of eating grass-fed beef, came up with the idea after connecting with a farm that raises grass-fed cows down in San Diego.
Kaman is getting half, 200 pounds, while Sacre and DiFrancesco are getting a quarter, 100 pounds, each.
This raises many questions. How did nobody realize that Kaman and Sacre are beefing? Do they not like each other or something? Why isn't anyone grilling Kaman for getting a larger share? Did he tell Sacre, "Don't have a cow, man" when he tried to object? Should Kaman and Sacre have tried to milk more out of DiFrancesco's connections? Why can't we hear more about the story of the chance meating between DiFrancesco and that San Diego farm? Will Kaman and Sacre exclaim "Cowabunga!" when they realize how good the meat tastes?