HALLOWEEN BOBSLED BASEBALL
Schedule Game 7 of the World Series on Halloween and make them wear costumes. Schedule Game 7 of the World Series on Halloween and make them wear costumes. I am positive that this is a fantastic idea, and my next course of action is to say it as many times as I need to until the right people listen. Schedule Game 7 of the World Series on Halloween and make them wear costumes. Schedule Game 7 of the World Series on Halloween and make them wear costumes. Schedule Game 7 of the World Series on Halloween and make them wear costumes.
Also, keep human umps but give them little robot sidekicks that say "ohhhh nooooo!" on random occasions, once every minute or so.
Ah ha ha ha ha, this guy is so proud to offer a high five to David Freese. His posture reminds me of a kid at a magic show I went to as a kid. The magician called for a few kid volunteers, and asked one kid to stand at the other end of the stage and hold a yellow cloth in the air with both hands. So he does, and every so often, the magician stops his trick, looks over at the kid, and says, "hold it a little higher, please."
The kid, who was already enthusiastic as hell over being able to assist the magician, holds the cloth as high as he can. A couple minutes later, the magician says, "Hey, could you hold it a little higher? Thanks." After a couple more of these, this kid is standing on tiptoes, stretching every limb in his body to hold this cloth as high as he possibly could.
Finally, after 10 minutes, the magician completes the trick. I don't even remember what the actual trick was, but I do remember the look on the kid's face after he realized he had been holding up this damn cloth for absolutely no reason. It was this look of betrayal and defeat, just starting to creep in on a posture and a face that illuminated a sense of pride and duty and reverence.
The chances are decent that that kid grew up into this guy, a grown man looking proud and dignified as hell as a baseball player responds to his high-five offer with a gentle tummy-thump. Good work, slugger!
In their home country, nobody can decide how to pronounce their name. Then they go play in a country full of people who, thanks to their own Jaguar Cars, have had nearly a century's worth of practice pronouncing the word. Hold tight, guys. We're still looking for a part of the planet that wants you.
(Via Kissing Suzy Kolber)
I discussed this run last week -- really, I just said "neeeaaat" for a few paragraphs -- and I believe it absolutely deserves inclusion here for being one of the strangest runs I've seen in a while. Rushing attempts are rarely very strange, as football tends to reserve most of its strangeness for special teams and blown coverage, but this one looked like a punt return.
PAT MCAFEE, PT. 1
This was the moment that made Pat McAfee a celebrity. Punters aren't the biggest players, but they are perhaps the densest. Nobody could play with them on the seesaw as children. That is why they became punters.
PAT MCAFEE, PT. 2
This might be the only time a punter ever appears twice in one episode of THIS WEEK IN GIFs. It will definitely, definitely, definitely be the only time the punter appears for neutral-to-good reasons both times.
I feel like Pat McAfee might need to be the subject of a Breaking Madden episode, but can't yet figure out an angle. Maybe I reduce the rest of the special-teams unit to weaklings and make McAfee a monster who can punt it 80 yards? Don't know. If you have any ideas, by all means, please let me know in the comments.
RADKO GUDAS / BEN BISHOP
Hockey and baseball have something rather significant in common, in that one guy can screw up and surrender 25 percent of the game's entire scoring in a single instant. If you do that in baseball, you have to stand on the top of a hill all by yourself while the opposing team runs a parade lap around you. If you do that in hockey, you get to hide inside a crummy-ass little tent. BASEBALL TENTS NOW.