On the other hand, rulez are for foolz, and ought to be ignored under special circumstances. I normally wouldn't include a GIF that isn't as good as its video, but THIS WEEK IN GIFs must pay respects to one of the wildest sports moments I've ever seen.
Auburn just kept rising from the dead. They demonstrated the sort of fate that should never be tested or tempted, and that's what Alabama did in the final seconds of a tie game. Their kicker is a freshman whose lone successful college field goal was a 20-yarder. Naturally, Nick Saban decides to have him try from 57 yards out, in a crowd environment that couldn't be more hostile, at the annual crescendo of the most intense rivalry in American sports.
It wasn't an embarrassing miss, but it was short, which everyone knew was overwhelmingly likely. In effect, they gifted Auburn a free punt return -- as Spencer said to Auburn, "you made the Alabama Crimson Tide kick the winning touchdown for you."
Those who find themselves on the butt end of a sports miracle usually don't totally deserve it. But Alabama absolutely, totally deserved 100 percent of that shit.
We're gonna stay on the "crucial field goals that fall short" train for just a bit longer. This is the Montreal Alouettes' 22-yard try during the overtime of a CFL playoff game, which they ultimately lost to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats by a three-point margin. Thanks to the wind, a field goal that should have cleared the posts by a mile instead followed the general arc of an upside-down Nike swoosh.
I also invite you to take in the environs on display here. That's some lo-fi business: wrinkled plastic ad banners, trees, and a bleacher area roughly as large as my old high school's. This isn't a universal CFL sight -- the Als' Molson Stadium in Montreal is set in the middle of downtown, intimately close to nearby buildings and right at the foot of a mountain. It's one of the coolest stadiums I've ever visited. But damn, where the hell is Hamilton? I ain't ever gonna go to y'alls' little-ass stadium. Your stadium is small and the stadiums I have been to are big. Shoot! Shoot. Y'all silly.
MIRACLE ON 34TH SIDEWALK
CHRISTIAN EHRHOFF SHOOTS GOAL THROUGH SKATE
That little gap above the skate is almost exactly puck-sized, and I guess it was only a matter of time. While we're on the subject, Toronto, those are some cruddy uniforms. We've been over this and you still haven't done anything about it, so two things:
1. Your blue and white are meant to represent the snow and the sky. Many cities have snow, and literally every city in the world has a sky. Is there anything else you see out your window that you can use? A mailbox? Garbage can? Anything?
2. You use your country's maple leaf, and the one thing that everyone understands about the Canadian maple leaf is that it is red. You could have rolled a three-sided die and at least gotten the primary color right.
Over the last five minutes, I feel that I've put more thought into this than anyone involved in the design and implementation of these uniforms. Y'all gotta ditch those tablecloths.
This moment was pretty remarkable for folks like me, who were watching football in a place where we couldn't hear the television. At first I thought Moreno had suffered a horrific eye injury of some sort. My friends and I checked Twitter, where everyone was tweeting "whoa he is crying a lot," and nobody was explaining why. It turns out that he got emotional, just in general. Matt Ufford said it best:
Thank you, Montee Ball. I'm sure the stoic leader still has a place in the 21st century, but personally -- as someone who cries at iPhone commercials, Pixar movies, thoughts of my dog getting older, and cheesy musical comedies -- I'm more inclined to feel connected to an athlete who experiences real emotion, even if his emotions trigger anime-like floods from his tear ducts.
ARIZONA STATE FAN KICK
I don't want to ever fight anyone, and I really don't want to fight an old guy. Old-guy strong is a special kind of strong. They've swung a hammer or two in their day. They're out there right now, moving their twentysomething kids' refrigerators, shingling a roof, chucking cords of wood into truck beds with missing doors, just waiting for you to give them the business. If you test them, especially if they have the high ground, that's on you.
The closest peer to this GIF is certainly the Johnny Manziel GIF from earlier this season. I'd like to argue that this one is superior. Although Teddy doesn't scramble for quite as long here, he does throw a crucial late-game touchdown in what will probably be the last regular-season game of his career. And while Manziel just sort of chucked the ball into an arbitrary assembly of red and white shirts, Bridgewater expertly chucks it into the corner of the end zone -- a place where either his man would get it, or nobody would get it. (How intentional this actually was is totally up for debate.)
Teddy Bridgewater is the most exciting player a lot of us have ever seen at Louisville. Over the last little while, this program has evolved from the definition of middling into a team that beat Florida in a BCS bowl, and Teddy has so much to do with that. He's produced an encyclopedia set's worth of heroics. And suddenly, during a game in which he frankly looked kind of bad, he produced a moment as great as any other.
Never thought I'd be able to say this after the last three years....but I can't believe he just did that.— Mike Rutherford (@CardChronicle) December 6, 2013
Thanks, Teddy. Come back and run for mayor after you're done in the NFL. You will win.