Spilly makes Aggie Ice Cream

Spilly has a treat for the Texas A&M Aggies. It's a delicious ice cream dish!

Hello Internet. I trust you've had lunch already, because today's meal will accentuate whichever organic kale soda you decide to pair with your zucchini quiche. I've made ice cream for you! Today's dessert is brought to you by the fine folks at Good Bull Hunting, SBNation's Texas A&M blog. They were the fourth and final party to donate to the hunger drive in December, and they had an awesome request I've been waiting a while to do. They gave me a few of the ingredients below, but let me turn it into whatever I wanted. I guarantee they didn't pick ice cream - because they are logical human beings with eyes for taste and civility, not chaotic internet food lunatics like yours truly.

One programming note, we had one person purchase a meal who couldn't decide on a topic and wanted to put it up for grabs. So I'm issuing you a challenge. Come up with a theme, or set of ingredients vaguely sports related, and send it to spillyvanilli@gmail.com. The bestworst idea will be enacted on this very site. God help us all.
Onto the ice cream!

STEP 1) I found the fattiest, heaviest cream I could at the store. The ice cream directions say to use regular milk, but this is for Texas, and Texas won't stand for anything less than the best in liquid obesity.

Image08_medium

STEP 2) Toss that heavy cream into the blender, along with a pile of sugar. If we're going to be fat, we might as well have diabetes too.

Image05_medium

STEP 3) One of the ingredients that GBH asked for was a ticket list. In 2004, an Aggie woman ate a ticket line up list to try and skip ahead for Cotton Bowl tickets. The story is here if you'd like to read it. It's fantastic. I've recreated a ticket list for this very meal.

Image03_medium

STEP 5) Tear this list into confetti and put it into the ice cream mix. As we've seen before, paper blends extremely well into food. I'd wager that 30% of the food you eat probably has paper filler in it. McDonalds Extra Thick shakes indeed. Next up are two more ingredients that were asked for by GBH.

Image10_medium

STEP 6) Chicken fingers and a burrito! Both of these were microwaved for a fortnight to make them easily blendable. The chicken strip was to represent the multiple chicken finger joints on campus, and the burrito is for Freebirds, a local burrito place. I've eaten at a Freebirds about 12 years ago when I was in Texas briefly, and I seem to remember it being pretty good, and this was before the Qdobas and Chipotles of the world rolled out to every street corner. Into the ice cream they go!

Image04_medium

STEP 7) For our last ingredient, it would be disrespectful of me to not pay tribute to the A&M mascot, Reveille. For this esteemed collie, I offer you only the best in Spilly ingredients:

Image00_medium

FOODTIP: You do not need to actually label what food is inside a can. Two instances of the word "Gourmet" is enough. The less specific you are, the more bull intestine you're allowed to include.

STEP 8) Spoon Ms. Rev's dinner into the ice cream batter and blend thoroughly. Afterwards, you should get a frighteningly actual-food-looking paste. Do not smell this paste.

Image09_medium

STEP 9) To properly freeze the ice cream, you'll need ice. I shouldn't need to tell you how to make ice. Chip some off the sides of your dorm freezer if you've run out. To this ice, you'll need to add salt. This is actual real cooking advice, we're not adding it to Spam or anything. Put it all in a bag and place some ice cream batter into a smaller bag inside. Punt this bag around your apartment for 20 minutes.

Image11_medium

STEP 10) While you're punting, you'll need to think about decoration for your ice cream. This should be easy with the following:

Image02_medium

SPRAY ICING IS A REAL THING

I guess I never knew this, but you can get propelled icing. I nearly dropped my basket shopping when I saw this. This changes everything. Why do we even have other foods? Why aren't we just spraying icing into our face for every meal?

STEP 11) Once the ice cream has hardened (well, as hard as liquified meat will get), plop it into a dessert bowl.

Image07_medium

STEP 12) Lastly, we have decoration to add. Use the Cool Whip and the spray frosting to draw on the A&M logo, and top it all off with Johnny Tangball. (TOPICAL SPORTS REFERENCE)

Image01_medium

That...that looks edible. I mean, It looked good enough to try. There's been worse things eaten by humanity. And they make weird shit into ice cream on Chopped all the time. So I did.

Verdict: Egregiously vomitous.
You're welcome, Aggieland. And everyone thank GBH for letting me do this.

More from SB Nation:

NFL mock draft: Changes on the eve of free agency

Andrew Sharp: March Madness hits Michigan

Bracketology: 2 more teams punch tourney tickets

How long will the Harlem Shake survive?

Tiger Woods wins WGC-Cadillac Championship

Swimsuit model Alyssa Miller joins The Halfy Hour

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join SBNation.com

You must be a member of SBNation.com to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SBNation.com. You should read them.

Join SBNation.com

You must be a member of SBNation.com to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SBNation.com. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.