The Week in Worst: The Mavericks are looking more like Goose

Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

It's another bad, bad week in the NBA. We're here to showcase the worst plays of the week with GIFs and video.

Welcome back to the Week in Worst, where we isolate embarrassing moments from pro athletes and milk them for all they're worth. We haven't talked about the Dallas Mavericks much in this column, but in assembling this week's very worst of the NBA, they more than got their due during a game against the San Antonio Spurs. Everything's bigger in Texas; especially the amount of bad basketball plays!

But there was one moment this week -- involving the Charlotte Bobcats -- that I just had to explore further. So please enjoy this week's video portion of the Week in Worst, with more or less the same amount of beard as last week:

We hope you enjoyed that! And now back to our regularly-scheduled column.

Here are the worst NBA plays for the week of March 11-17.

Worst Shot

Player: Byron Mullens

Date: March 15

Mullenslol_medium

I discussed this at length in the above video and I think I pretty much nailed it. So you should watch that now, if you haven't already. And if you did watch it, this is probably a great time for a second viewing!

Worst Defense

Team: Dallas Mavericks

Date: March 14

Leonard_medium

Hey, great effort, O.J. Mayo. But you should have aimed at where Kawhi Leonard was going, not at where he was. You got duped by the Law of Kawhi Leonard Physics: You can know where he is, or how fast he is going, but not both. Never both. Oh, wait. Maybe the Law of Kawhi Leonard Physics is that whenever I hear his name, I can only ever think of All Dogs Go to Heaven.

Vital aspects of this GIF that are not to be slept upon: Elton Brand playing the part of "most confused big man" by probably going "hubba? AWUZZA" and nearly falling over when Leonard makes his move to the basket, Vince Carter just kicking back in the corner and watching things develop. No need to exert yourself, Vinnie.

Worst Sequence of Events

Player: O.J. Mayo

Date: March 14

Wiwmavs_medium

1. Mayo with the jumper.

2. CLINK.

3. Rebound appears to be heading straight back to Mayo!

4. Tim Duncan with the lazy-ass tip that NEARLY GOES RIGHT BACK TO MAYO, who instead

5. tips it AGAIN

6. right to the waiting contingent of Spurs.

7. DAGNABBIT

Worst Potty-Mouth

Coach: Gregg Popovich

Date: March 16

Angrypopps_medium

Gregg, no! You're gonna get -- aw, you got ejected from the game! Look what you went and did! Sheesh. And all just for some really world-class cussing, apparently.

Wait, let me try to work out what he says in this GIF based on my world-class lip-reading skills.

"Throw my dog! That's my hand! That's his push-cart! Some biscuits!"

Well, that certainly doesn't seem worthy of an ejection. Man, lighten up you dumb refs. That's his push-cart. Some biscuits.

Worst Official

Official: This ref

Date: March 14

Refshrug_medium

This is from Thursday's game between the Knicks and Trail Blazers. The official in question is (apparently) David Jones. You don't get any context for this. Just bask in it. The one gesture you probably don't want a governing official to be making in pretty much ANY sport. Look at the attitude. The unabashed arrogance and befuddlement all at once. Terrible. REPLACE BASKETBALL WITH ROBOTS.

(By the way, in other terrible official news, Angel Hernandez was pretty bad at being an umpire at the World Baseball Classic. Please take a few minutes to read Grant Brisbee's excellent takedown of someone who is bad at his job. He uses GIFs, also!)

Worst Bullying

Player: Marc Gasol

Date: March 16

Gasolref_medium

Marc Gasol, you are such a big MEANIE. I bet you're sad that those photographers weren't lockers. I bet you're also sad you weren't able to give this official an atomic wedgie and perhaps a swirlie for good measure. Why do you have to be such a JERK all the time? GAWD. I've got a good mind not to invite you to Tiffany's party!

Haha okay I can't stay mad at you, Marc. Look at that nerd! Look at him all like "OH I'M A NERD, I STILL HAVE TO CALL WHO GETS POSSESSION OF THE BALL EVEN THOUGH MY BUTT IS ON THREE PEOPLE." Ugh, nerds make me sick. You've got the right idea, Marc Gasol.

Worst Premature Celebratory Yell

Player: Tristan Thompson

Date: March 16

Timmy_medium

YAARRRRRRRR I'M GONNA DUNK THIS SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMM oh fudge blocked

BASKETBALL HOOP I AM GONNA SCORE INTO YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU criminy rejected

SHOOP BA WOOP FIRIN MAH BASKETBALLLLLLLLLLLLL poop on a rope stuffed

HEY NET I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY BECAUSE HERE COMES A ROCK SANDWIIIIIICHHHHHHHH aw flubber no good

I'M THE BEST PERSON WHO HAS EVER PLAYED PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL CERTAINLYYYYYYYYYYY welp

Worst Fast Break in History

Player: Chris Kaman

Date: March 14

Kamanloooooool_medium

ahahahhahaah

hahhahahahahahh

Poor little Cory Joseph just taking one for the team there. Mercy me, this is just a treasure trove of things happening. You've got an enormous galoot of a man just careening headlong into a little kid, looking all the while like he's a steam-powered man-suit being piloted by a team of hopped-up squirrels for the first time. Danny Green flying right past as he tries to make the block and whiffs because Chris Kaman is an oversized monster who has opted to palm the basketball with ease during his stumbles.

BUT IT GETS EVEN BETTER. This started out as a fast break! Like, FOR REAL:

Kamanloool_medium

Holy mother of god, Week in Worst. How do you keep doing it? Please stay forever.

More in the NBA:

The NBA's best contracts

How MJ helped Gerald Henderson

The brilliance of Marc Gasol

Printable bracket for March Madness

Kentucky’s NBA draft bubble

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