I present to you the greatest lede of all time:
OWENSBORO, KY (WFIE) -
The Owensboro Rage is getting a new quarterback, one with Super Bowl winning experience.
The Hefty Lefty.
The Pillsbury Throwboy.
The Round Mound of Touchdown.
He Ate Me.
They also included this pretty metal highlight video of Lorenzen as an Arena Football League quarterback for the Horsemen.