Baseball's opening day is already off to a stellar start, mostly because Gio Gonzalez gave Adam LaRoche a special nickname just to mark the occasion.
Yes, Gio Gonzalez did just use the nickname "Butt Commander" in front of the Nationals' home crowd. "HE JUST LIKES BARBECUE A LOT, that's what I meant," says Gio Gonzalez telling shameless lies to a reporter just scant hours later.
UPDATE: SOURCE (like everyone on the internet) suggest Gonzalez is saying "Buck Commander." This makes so much more sense than "Butt Commander," but is not nearly half as funny. Sad emoticons go here.