The Week in Worst: Basketballers pretending to be other things

Yep, it's our old pal JaVale. - USA TODAY Sports

Even basketball men have dreams of something more. Let's take a glimpse into their fantasies.

Well, it's been a long two weeks since our last edition of the Week in Worst. And naturally, when I take a week off, the NBA doubles down on being really bad at basketball. So I've dragged the waters to bring you the most horrifically bloated of basketball corpses (in GIF form) for us to laugh at together. Sit back, relax and enjoy the freak show.

First up, we're going to take a video look at probably my favorite terrible play of the past two weeks. If you know anything about me, you know how much I enjoyed this Zach Randolph moment as it happened. And even several days later.

Glorious. Simply glorious. Without further ado, here are the very worst NBA plays for the weeks of April 1-15.

Worst Wrestler Impression

Player: Zach Randolph

Date: April 13

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I talked about this in the above video and you should watch that because it never, ever gets old.

Worst Aspiring Dodgeball Player

Player: Beno Udrih

Date: April 13

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Some people strive their entire lives to make it to the NBA. When they get there, they're living their dream. Not old Beno Udrih, here. Turns out his excellence at basketball has just been keeping him away from his true dream all along: being a participant in an adult dodgeball league. Sometimes those urges just break through at inopportune times in his day job. As we see here, he'd be a heck of a dodgeballer (dodgeballist?). Alas, this is neither the time nor the place.

Worst Hero

Player: Nate Robinson

Date: April 9

Bullsfail_medium

Everyone who dreams of being in the NBA dreams of being a big-time hero in a big-time game. I'm not sure that Raptors vs. Bulls in the last week of the 2012-13 season necessarily applies, but a potential game-tying buzzer-beater is still a game-tying buzzer-beater, and that's exciting!

What isn't exciting is what Nate Robinson did here. A whole lot of attempts at being a hero and a whooooooole lot of failing going on. Just whiff after whiff in one action-packed Yakety Sax-level GIF. Flew too close to the sun, Nate.

Worst Attempt at Not Being JaVale McGee

Player: JaVale McGee

Date: April 3

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Some of us just can't slip the surly bonds of Earth, man. Better luck next time.

Worst One-Man Wrecking Crew

Player: Reggie Evans

Date: April 5

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Similar to Nate Robinson's ill-fated attempts at heroism, Reggie Evans had plans of laying waste to the Cavs here. Just so many plans. Designs, even. He could see the play clearly, like having an out-of-body experience. He figured he'd jam it home, then when that didn't happen he's like AWRIGHT GRABBIN REBOUNDS THROWIN BOWS TAKE ME DOWN TO SLAMMA JAMMA CITY and then all of a sudden he's just a big goofball running back down the court the other way.

This is sort of an analogy for life, I guess.

Worst Mush Pot

Player: Chris Kaman

Date: April 4

Kamanman_medium

THIS IS NEITHER THE TIME NOR PLACE FOR DUCK DUCK GOOSE CHRIS KAMAN WE ARE NOT IN NURSERY SCHOOL GROW UP

Worst Frisbee Trick Shot Bro

Player: Kirk Hinrich

Date: April 4

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Kirk Hinrich has everything it takes to be one of those viral trick-shot Frisbee dudes you see in every frigging corner of YouTube. Everything except for a Frisbee, I guess. Maybe if he lasts a few more years in the league, he can finally afford to spring for one. They've gotta be like six, seven million bucks, right? You can't just get a Frisbee anywhere.

Oh, you can? Well what in the heck then Kirk Hinrich.

Worst Audition for Harvey

Player: Shane Battier

Date: April 2

Shaneoops_medium

Yo Shane, Spike Lee is not an eligible member of your team. What in the heck.

Oh, I see. Mr. Battier was playing the old "invisible rabbit" gambit, attempting to catch the eye of some bigshot Hollywood producer and remind them the old James Stewart classic has gone over 60 years without having been remade. Which is practically illegal in the movie industry. Someone get on that.

Or maybe Shane Battier is just terrible?

Maybe we're being too hard on poor Shane. Let's check out the reverse angle and see how close his nearest teammate actually was.

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Okay, that's pretty damning. What the hell Shane.

Worst Impression of a Professional Basketball Team

Team: Washington Wizards

Date: April 2

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All the Washington Wizards ever wanted to do was convince people they're a real basketball team and not just some sort of Washington Generals-type hoax. There's two guys trying to guard Nate Robinson here but it's just ... it's kind of exposing the whole enterprise. Tighten up that ship, guys. You're taking on water.

Worst Boxer

Fan: This guy

Boomboom_medium

Right hook is okay. That left overhead jab need a lot of work. A LOT of work. And I don't even know what to tell you about your "double speedbag overhead flurry." Back to the drawing board with that one. You've got a lot of enthusiasm, kid, but hear don't win boxing games. Or uh ... "matches" or whatever.

More from SB Nation:

Flannery: Welcome back, Deron Williams

Let the overhyping of Ben McLemore begin

Pau Gasol flexed his skills Tuesday

Rudy Gay and the credibility of a 30-48 team

Maloofs would accept Sacramento's offer

How a 29-year-old rookie made it to the NBA

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