Jay-Z is starting a sports agency, continues Illuminati-sponsored world takeover

Chris Hondros

Jay-Z is becoming a sports agent, and starting a sports agency called Roc Nation Sports, and now it's only a matter of time before he gets John Calipari elected President of the United States.

If you were a superstar athlete looking for professional representation as you navigate the negotiation process with franchises and potential sponsors, would you opt for A) an experienced member of the sports business establishment who's proven himself for decades, or B) Jay-Z.

If you answered A, then good luck NOT BALLIN for your entire pathetic career.

ESPN reported Tuesday morning that Robinson Cano has fired his agent Scott Boras in the final year of his $67 million contract with the Yankees, and opted to become Jay-Z's first client in a new sports representation company that will represent professional athletes in conjunction with Creative Artists Agency.

That's right, Jay-Z is in the building now. The sports agency building.

As a matter of fact, Jay-Z took Scott Boras and the rest of the sports agency building, destroyed it with one simple press release, and built a more ballin building right next door. The decoration is tasteful and contemporary, with black marble floors and smoky glass doors. Memphis Bleek greets you at the entrance, and William Wesley is waiting for you on the top floor, surrounded by 75 Blackberries, 600 bottles of Fiji water, and your wildest dreams. That building's name is Roc Nation Sports.

Rembert knows what's up:

Put the kids to bed. This is Big Boy Business.

According to ESPN's sources, Jay-Z plans to become a certified agent, in addition to owning the agency. First in baseball, and later in football and basketball. He'd have to sell his minority share in the Brooklyn Nets to represent basketball players, but he's already forged lifelong partnership with Mikhail Prokhorov, so Jay's goals have been achieved. Besides, that's just a minor detail there to distract you.

What's important here is that Jay-Z is taking his talents to sports, and that the R-O-C is about to be runnin this sports shit. John Calipari, runnin this sports shit. Mikhail Prokhorov, runnin this sports shit. Blue Ivy, runnin this sports shit. Worldwide Wes, runnin this sports shit. Memphis Bleek, you can be Commissioner of the NHL.

Some have sneered at all this. "This won't last two years," they say.

Did the Kennedys bow out after two years?

Did the Rothschilds?

No, true power lasts forever. Part of a much bigger plan. Shoutout to future Jay-Z clients Andrew Wiggins, Mike Bloomberg, Oprah Winfrey, and Barack Obama.

This is just the beginning.

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