NBA Mock Draft 2013: Everyone's worst-case scenario

USA TODAY Sports

We've got a lot of problems with the 2013 NBA Draft class, and now they're going to hear about them. We look at the worst-case scenario for each first-round prospect in this week's mock draft.

Let's be honest: we are a nation of haters. Whether it's sports, politics or the arts, there's nothing people like more than tearing down public figures. The 2013 NBA Draft is no exception, especially when writers rely so heavily on information from anonymous "front-office decision-makers" with agendas of their own.

For this week's mock, I figured I'd join in on the fun. So I brought in an "NBA insider" (read: a friend who is a semi-professional gambler) to help me talk trash about this year's prospects.

If last week's mock was the glass half-full take, this week's mock is the glass completely empty. We'll call our insider "The Diabolical Hater," or TDH for short.

1. Cleveland Cavaliers: Nerlens Noel (Scouting report)

JT: He weighed 205 pounds at the combine. That means he weighs less and is less skilled than Brittney Griner.

2. Orlando Magic: Otto Porter (Scouting report)

TDH: Porter struggles creating his shot with more than one dribble, but he understands the game, plays hard on both ends and has a solid stroke. A role player, not a top-three pick.

3. Washington Wizards: Anthony Bennett (Scouting report)

JT: Bennett's freshman season had a ton in common with Michael Beasley's, except he was less engaged defensively, not nearly as productive and in a much worse conference.

4. Charlotte Bobcats: Alex Len (Scouting report)

JT: A 7'0 20-year-old coming off serious surgery on his ankle. The good news is big men never have recurring injuries in their feet.

5. Phoenix Suns: Ben McLemore (Scouting report)

TDH: He was deferring to Elijah Johnson this season. This guy is a star?

6. New Orleans Pelicans: Trey Burke (Scouting report)

JT: Unless you think he is Chris Paul, it's hard to draft a small point guard this high. He's not Chris Paul.

7. Sacramento Kings: Victor Oladipo (Scouting report)

JT: We're drafting shooting guards who average 14 points and two assists a game in the top 10? You need offense from that position.

8. Detroit Pistons: Michael Carter-Williams (Scouting report)

JT: He shot 39 percent from the field this season. Rajon Rondo might not have a jumper either, but he shot 48 percent in his last season in college.

9. Minnesota Timberwolves: C.J. McCollum (Scouting report)

TDH: His college career comprised of crossing over consultants and Seth Curry. Cue the tape of his games against Baylor and Lehigh and please stop with the Steph Curry comparisons.

10. Portland Trail Blazers: Kentavious Caldwell-Pope (Scouting report)

TDH: If he's a super athlete, how come more than half his shots came from beyond the three-point arc? Maybe shoot better than 37 percent from the college three if that's supposed to be your NBA calling card.

11. Philadelphia 76ers: Cody Zeller (Scouting report)

TDH: He tested well at the combine, but remember how functionally athletic he looked the last time played in a basketball game? Ten points on 3-11 shooting against Syracuse.

12. Oklahoma City Thunder: Gorgui Dieng (Scouting report)

JT: He's an undersized 23-year-old center who averaged 10 points a game this season. How much better is he going to get?

13. Dallas Mavericks: Dennis Schroeder (Scouting report)

JT: One big game at the Nike Hoop Summit does not a career make. Ask Saer Sene or Bismack Biyombo.

14. Utah Jazz: Shane Larkin (Scouting report)

JT: Forget defending his position; how is he even going to contest shots in the NBA? He's short, slight and he has a 5'11 wingspan.

15. Milwaukee Bucks: Shabazz Muhammad (Scouting report)

JT: Whatever genius on Twitter came up with "Jared Dudley meets DeMar DeRozan," please come forward. I can't top that.

16. Boston Celtics: Steven Adams (Scouting report)

JT: Remember how raw Meyers Leonard was as a rookie? He was at least one to two years ahead of Adams in the development process.

17. Atlanta Hawks: Rudy Gobert (Scouting report)

TDH: A tall guy who can't play. At least Hasheem Thabeet had a resume of documented production.

18. Atlanta Hawks: Jamaal Franklin (Scouting report)

TDH: His stock would be a lot higher if putting the ball in the basket wasn't the object of the game.

19. Cleveland Cavaliers: Sergey Karasev (Scouting report)

JT: He's 200 pounds and he's not all that fast. Hard to defend anyone in the NBA with that combination.

20. Chicago Bulls: Mason Plumlee (Scouting report)

JT: Coach K has a long tradition of developing big men. That's why Cherokee Parks, Shelden Williams, Josh McRoberts and Miles Plumlee have been so successful in the NBA.

21. Utah Jazz: Giannis Adetokunbo (Scouting report)

JT: A lot of guys can look good against D3-caliber competition. His DraftExpress video looks like it was recorded on Betamax.

22. Brooklyn Nets: Kelly Olynyk (Scouting report)

TDH: Olynyk has T-Rex arms and no burst. I would say he's a D-League player, but those aren't things he can improve.

23. Indiana Pacers: Tony Mitchell (Scouting report)

JT: Mitchell's statistics were down across the board on a 12-20 Sun Belt team. That's one of the conferences that sends 16-seeds to the NCAA Tournament every year.

TDH: He admitted to having issues with effort. It's always encouraging to hear that about a player before he is drafted.

24. New York Knicks: Ricky Ledo (Scouting report)

JT: Congratulations, unnamed college coach. You are the hater of the year.

25. LA Clippers: Tim Hardaway Jr. (Scouting report)

TDH: He can't even dribble!

26. Minnesota Timberwolves: Allen Crabbe (Scouting report)

JT: Let's draft a shooter who shot 35 percent from three in college.

27. Denver Nuggets: Reggie Bullock (Scouting report)

JT: A shooting guard who can't create his own shot. It's not hard to get open shots when you play at UNC.

28. San Antonio Spurs: Lucas Nogueira (Scouting report)

JT: Two years after he first put his name into the draft, he hasn't gained any weight and he still has no offensive game. What has he been doing?

29. Oklahoma City Thunder: Archie Goodwin (Scouting report)

JT: A shooting guard who can't shoot or pass. After the season ended, Goodwin said he would have to be "delusional" to declare for the draft. Well, here he is.

30. Phoenix Suns: Glen Rice Jr. (Scouting report)

JT: He didn't do anything in college to suggest he's an NBA-caliber player. He doesn't have the talent to be worth his off-the-court issues.

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NBA mock draft: Best-case scenarios | Scouting reports | Big Board

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