The List: Things LeBron James should be worried about


After his second NBA Championship, LeBron James proclaimed he "ain't got no worries," but oh, how wrong he is.

LeBron James won another NBA Championship, which should, in effect, kill the narrative forever. And he's rightly excited. He won a hard-fought series against the Spurs, one of the most entertaining Finals series in recent memory, in large part because he was able to hit jump shots, a weakness of his in the past.

In his speech after the game, he talked about coming from Akron and how statistically he wasn't even supposed to be here.

He also said he had no worries, which is a bit odd because there is plenty to worry about. The world is a scary place.

We collected a bunch of things for LeBron to keep an eye out for, and hopefully he'll be careful.

  • Climate change
  • Brain aneurysms
  • Giant cockroaches that never sleep and want to crawl in your mouth (he does live in Miami)
  • The ultimate destiny of all who hail from Akron
  • Those big asteroids that keep almost hitting Earth
  • Whether Drake can access the locker room without a media pass
  • Breaking Bad spoilers
  • Dre, or forgetting about him
  • Botulism
  • Cell phones must be doing something bad to our bodies they must be
  • That nightmare he has where he and Chris Bosh have to move a huge cake on Cake Boss and it all falls apart because dammit Chris
  • Sinkholes
  • What if this is all a set-up like The Truman Show?
  • How do we know that one really equals one?
  • Ten years ago we had Bob Hope, Steve Jobs and Johnny Cash
  • That five dollars he still owes Zach Randolph
  • If that dog he met outside the coffee shop liked him
  • 3D printers like we don't know much about them still what if they can start printing people you know?
  • What was in that bag I just ran over in the road?
  • like i'm at this party am i acting the right way do people mind that i went back to the food table and got a second plate am i standing in the right place are people looking at me what's going on why is my heart beating so fast there are people everywhere it's just you it's just you it's in your head calm down calm down breathe breathe no seriously what is going on
  • China
Seth Rosenthal, Spencer Hall, Jason Kirk and Tom Ziller contributed to this post.
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