Hello, everyone, and welcome to Week 3 of the 2013 season of LUNCH JUDGMENT! I hope that I enjoy myself.
If you're new here, this is how it works:
1. You leave a comment below, describing the lunch you have eaten or are eating today.
2. Time permitting, I will respond with a comment of my own. I will rate your lunch on a scale of one to 10, and I will do my best to explain my rationale.
3. You will accept this ruling as accurate, absolute, and superseding of all municipal, state, and federal rulings.
NOTE TO WEST-COASTERS: I certainly don't mean to leave you to chill in the shade of lunch chaos and uncertainty. If it is not yet lunchtime where you are, feel free to submit the lunch you ate yesterday.
You should know, friend, that while I am not out to hurt you, I will tell you your lunch is cruddy if it is cruddy, and I will not mince (food term) words.
So ... listen. I only have one thing to share with you, because I want to be absolutely freaking sure you see it, because it's the best, weirdest story I've read in a long time.
Alright, so. Montaous Walton was this young guy from Milwaukee who grew up in poverty and was determined to play pro baseball. He tried to prop up his stock by maintaining fake email addresses of supposed coaches, posting on countless message boards about himself under different names, and typing up fake contracts.
Problem: he is awful at baseball. Like, he can't even play catch properly. And yet he keeps on trying and trying with this stuff, and he somehow manages to fool some people. Brandon Sneed, who got to know Walton personally, did an absolutely phenomenal job with this story.
By the way, Walton himself actually stopped by in the comments to put in his two cents. Seriously, seriously, seriously, go and read.
Time for LUNCH JUDGMENT.