Our long national Dwightmare appears to finally be over. After reports began circulating that Dwight Howard had decided to leave the Los Angeles Lakers to branch out on his own – or at least make a run at some hardware with all-star James Harden – and sign with the Houston Rockets, then three hours of Flightaware and reports of trademark D12 waffling, it seems like we may finally have some closure (and Rockets fans perhaps some validation to GM Daryl Morey's methods).
Of course leave it to Parks & Recreation writer (and general all-around hilarious comedian) Joe Mande to mark the occasion the only way appropriate: by finding and retweeting only the most hilarious tweets to ever originate from Dwight Howard's fingers during the last two years and change.
Hey, if Dwight can announce his decision formally in a twitlonger and by changing his Twitter avatar, surely we can find some catharsis by revisiting precisely what makes Dwight Dwight, no?
We kick things off with this gem from just two months ago:
say "eye yam stew peed" 4 times fast y’all gotta try this lol somebody jus got me— Dwight Howard (@DwightHoward) May 10, 2013
There is a strong case to made that may be the most Dwight Howard thing ever tweeted...Until of course we read this one:
Fruit roll ups or fruit by the foot. Which ones better ???— Dwight Howard (@DwightHoward) October 14, 2012
An important question for these important times. Most notably those of the snack variety.
Is there any other months besides April on twitter?— Dwight Howard (@DwightHoward) April 11, 2012
Every day is April Fools' Day on social media.
If you had 24 hrs to live. What would you do— Dwight Howard (@DwightHoward) September 26, 2012
I dunno, probably hold the entire basketball viewing world hostage with a made-for-Internet event live from a cabin in Aspen. Just spitballing here.
Breaking news. Jus signed five yr deal with the mighty ducks. Let's get this flying V going. Lol— Dwight Howard (@DwightHoward) December 7, 2011
Unfortunately the Mighty Ducks wound up lacking the requisite cap room to offer Dwight a max deal after Charlie Conway refused to participate in a sign-and-trade.
Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart— Dwight Howard (@DwightHoward) November 11, 2011
Should've sent a poet, Dwight. Should've sent a poet.