Welcome to Week 58 of THIS WEEK IN GIFs. Football season is now here. In accordance with this, we're seeing the sun begin to set on fun, silly animated sports GIFs. Over the horizon, the terrible artificial Death Star of football destruction begins to rise. Whee!
Voting will remain open until Sunday at 11 p.m. As always, enjoy.
TROY TULOWITZKI/JOSE FERNANDEZ
It's finally time for football. Between the NFL and college FBS games, we're in for somewhere around 1,000 games. Most of them will be played with playoff or bowl berths at stake. Even the teams with lost seasons will play until they're burger, because this is football, where nobody really smiles all that much.
Late-season baseball offers complete contrasts, and lots of them. Here we see the Rockies, whose playoffs hopes are effectively shot, and the Marlins, who are 31.5 games behind in the NL East (although, strangely, ESPN.com still lists their playoff chances at 0.1 percent). They're still playing because they have bills to pay and because they told everyone they would.
That Jose Fernandez caught this ball doesn't matter too much to the Rockies, and it doesn't mean all that much for Tulowitzki, whose batting average is at .318 instead of .321. His failure to reach base is so small, it's a curiosity. "Did you catch that? Huh." And I think it's really nice!
(Via Grant Brisbee)
Here's more of that. Guys. Guys, you can't do that ... actually, you know what, it's late August and you're 49-83. Proceed.
Thursday night's SEC opener was totally clownboots, and featured, among other things, Jordan Matthews reeling in a huge fourth-and-18 reception right after doing this. (Apparently he was vomiting up the excess fluids he'd taken in after experiencing body cramps; a hard hit was all it took to shake them out.)
God, that's a lot of vomit. It's like you set an inkjet printer to "BARF."
(Via Kissing Suzy Kolber)
Welcome to the NFL, rookie Buccaneers quarterback Mike Glennon! In this league, every tackler is as big as the biggest tackler you have ever seen. In fact, should they need to, they can hop over your offensive tackle, grab you by the shoulder, and rip both y'all down like a set of curtains in a condemned ranch house.
On the bright side, you will be paid with money.
When life gives you lemons, build an interstellar fleet of space cruisers that run on citrus, assemble a galactic empire, and wear a glittery-ass cloak wherever you go. That is the spirit captured by Mr. Monfils, who turns a missed return into an opportunity to GET THE HELL DOWN. Tennis is the best.
If the rest of y'all could just sit tight for a minute, I'd like to get with those of you who played Half-Life 2. The standard headcrab zombies were pretty slow and easily killed, but remember when the super-fast ones start showing up? I remember climbing to a rooftop at night. It was really quiet, and I couldn't see much. Then I started to hear the drain pipes and gutters knock back and forth. Clunk-CLUNK, clunk-CLUNK. And then they clawed up to the roof with their spidery, bloody limbs, leapt a dozen feet in the air, and tried to murder me. This went on for like 10 minutes, and remains one of the few video gaming experience I would describe as, "scary."
More and more, defensive ends are starting to remind me of those monsters. Every quarterback should probably keep a crowbar in his hand warmer.
COLTS FAN ON FIELD
I'm gonna say it as many times as I need to: DO NOT RUN AROUND ON A FOOTBALL FIELD IF YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. Running on a baseball field is relatively harmless. Maybe Matt Diaz will trip you, or Rick Monday will stop you from burning your flag, or Nolan Ryan won't let him kiss you, but that's about as bad as it will get. If you run around on a football field, you might die. Do not do this, please.
I will, though, acknowledge the validity of this Colts fan's motives. They don't really ever get to run around in an open field, because the city of Indianapolis is actually an enormous T.J. Maxx parking lot.
Oh, and if you're looking for more sports GIFs, be sure to check out: