We've heard tales before of Twitter-mandated field-stormings at baseball games. In the early going of Monday night's game between the Yankees and the White Sox -- AKA "Alex Rodriguez's first game since the whole Biogenesis thing" -- another big dreamer seemed poised to attain Twitter immortality. (Twimmortality?)
Old Nick reached and exceeded his requested 1,500 retweets in no time flat, thus binding him LEGALLY AND MORALLY to this unbreakable Twitter contract. All we had to do was sit back and let the seventh inning roll around. Many impatient people tweeted at him to get a move on already, but of course Nick was a man of his word.
Finally, the moment was upon us: the bottom of the seventh inning! Surely the field-storming was about to --
GAWD MAWMMMMMMMM YOU RUIN EVERYTHING. (Side note: I think that's a different "Danny Aiello" than the one we're used to.)
But wait! We have the inside scoop from the official Nick beat reporter:
Just got the inside scoop from @kingodonoghue myself, sources say it will be delayed to the bottom of the 8th. Thank you— President Pruitt (@THE_real_PRUITT) August 6, 2013
Yessssssss. Just one more inning and we'll all drink together in Valhalla. Here we --
You let us down, Nick. You let us all down. Turn in your field-storming badge. You're off the case.
A sad epilogue: Nick's Twitter account -- at least as of 11:34 p.m. ET on Monday night -- has been suspended. This is what happens when you fail to live up to Twitter contracts, everyone. Think before you don't storm the field.