Every sports-related press release has an author. That is, someone who is tasked with a given thing to tell the world -- a new line of big-and-tall orthotics endorsed by Joel Przybilla, an innovative new sports drink with more electrolytes than Powerade but just as much purple food coloring -- and then has to find a way to make it sound interesting while hitting all the necessary press release-y marks.
Do it right, or time it on a slowish news day, and you might get a tweet from Darren Rovell. The prospect of that -- some Rovellian sentence fragment and a very specific out-of-context dollar amount -- as an ultimate victory is maybe a little depressing. But this is the game.
And there is a right way to play it. There should be a quote. Data where possible, enthusiasm where no data exists. There must be a sense that this nugget of newsishness -- which has shown up in a great many email inboxes, unbidden, with nothing but its own dubiously valuable newsworthiness and a possible quote from Joel Przybilla about improved conditions in his achy arches -- is worth opening. Sometimes, this is impossible. Other times, your job is to write a press release about a new line of flavored mouthpieces -- at the risk of spoiler-alerting this whole thing, there is a blue raspberry one -- that have been endorsed by Stephen Curry. At times like that, your job is easy.
So tell the story. There is the news that Stephen Curry will wear a lemonade-flavored mouthpiece made by a company called MoGo Sport next season. The flavors of the mouthpieces -- mint and fruit punch and bubble gum
and Arctic Blurt and orange and lemon and BluRasp -- are listed, as is their (quite reasonable) price. Also some data about wearing mouthpieces -- which really is a smart thing to do, safety-wise, even if you're just writing a slow-news-day blog post about flavored mouthpieces -- and whatever comprises the rest.
And there is the quote: "As a professional athlete and father, I can appreciate a company like MoGo that is trying to make protective sports gear more enjoyable to wear," Curry said. "One of the things I stress at events like my basketball camp is the importance of protecting yourself on the court. Regular mouthguards were always uncomfortable and rubber-tasting, but MoGo tastes great and keeps my mouth from getting dry."
This is all anyone can ask, everything anyone could want. It's all there. And then:
Stephen Curry signs endorsement w/flavored mouthguard company MoGo Sport. Will wear lemonade flavor this season.— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) September 26, 2013
There it is.