When's the last time you actually wrote a handwritten note? I mean, really, think about it. I'm not saying you haven't written one, but I imagine it hasn't been recently. Don't they have apps on Instagram that allow you to fake handwrite on a picture?
However, it was the text written by Dwyane Wade in response to Kevin Durant's ranking "diss" that truly slayed me:
Kevin Durant said James Harden should replace me in the top 10… Note to self: Make him respect your place in history… again …
Look at all those ellipses!
Wade, who came in at No. 8 on SI.com's list of the best players in the NBA, clearly felt some kind of way when Kevin Durant, who came in at No. 2, sent a veiled shot across the battle lines when he was asked if anyone was missing from the list's top 10.
KD: "I think you’re missing James Harden."
Reporter: "Who's missing?"
KD: "Dwyane Wade."
For what it's worth, Harden was ranked No. 11 on this list, and Durant could have literally just been naming the next person to follow on the top 10. Or, maybe he's just sticking up for his former Thunder brother. Or, maybe he really does feel some kind of way about Dwyane Wade. (I mean, Wade did respond quickly.) Who knows.
The bigger question: Why did Dwyane Wade even respond? Why does he care so much about a rankings list?
The fact that someone would question the top-10 ranking of a now-gimpy 31-year-old guard, who's been hobbled by two bad knees ... who posted the lowest scoring average of his career since his rookie year ... who posted his lowest free-throw shooting percentage of his entire career ... who really struggled in the playoffs ... isn't that crazy, really.
Moreover, it shows that even Wade is ever mindful of his status within his own locker room. Why else would a man insist on giving himself another terrible nickname (remember Way of Wade? Ugh), as he's been telling folks to call him "Three." As in, "Yes, please call me Three because I've worn three since my days at Marquette, but also please call me Three because I have three rings ... which is one more than that other really good basketball player on my team." OK, I might have paraphrased Wade a little bit, but you get my point.
Wade's Instagram message, sadly, comes off as petty and sensitive. SI's list was a focus on right now, not of all-time, and one of his peers simply disagreed with the list. This is the less flattering side of the motivation he's used to fuel his impressive career to date. There is a double-edged sword to that, and we're seeing it now.
When that knee (hopefully) gets strong again and Wade looks like the nickname we all grew to actually love (Flash), then not only will that list prove to be accurate, but Wade's peers will respect his proper place as a top-10 player in the NBA. Until then, he'd be best served to prove it on the court instead of on social media.
Keep up with all of our NBA Coverage
The past mentors the present: This is a tip of the proverbial cap to Shaquille O'Neal, Hakeem Olajuwon and Rasheed Wallace for investing their time, energy and resources to building up the present core of talented, but still unrefined big men in the NBA. While the Shaqramento Kings seems like an oddly cool thing to say out loud, in reality the true king in Sactown right now is the newly paid Demarcus Cousins. Shaq's touching down in California's capital city as a minority owner is good for a variety of reasons, but everyone knows why he's there: to mentor and refine Boogie.
The same with Rasheed Wallace. Oh, I mean, Coach Sheed. COACH SHEED! This is a banner day in sports history, everybody. Coach Sheed will now be lacing up his high-top Nike Air Force 1's to get into the minds of the most athletic frontcourt in the NBA with the Detroit Pistons. Between Greg Monroe, Andre Drummond and Josh Smith, Coach Sheed's ability to coach 'em up in the post could pay major dividends.
Oh, and there's Hakeem and Dwight Howard in Houston. As far as I'm concerned, if Howard can just learn ONE post move from The Dream, then the rest of the NBA should be terrified.
An unpopular opinion that you might agree with me on later: The Golden State Warriors should let Andre Iguodala come off the bench and keep Harrison Barnes in the starting lineup. Let the Swiss Army Knife be your backup point guard, your lead scorer and facilitator off the bench and let Barnes continue to develop against first units. No one said Iguodala can't close the show (as the Warriors will probably go Curry-Klay-Iguodala-Barnes-Bogut to finish games) and still play 30+ minutes a game, but with a now quirky lineup full of perimeter talent, Mark Jackson will have to figure out how to properly distribute playing time. Either way, it's going to be a fun time in Oakland this season.
A happy hour drink recommendation: A Belgian-style ale. You want to get the weekend started off right, and you want to sip something that you can savor. You're a grown-up now, and you don't want to drink that dirty dishwater that most people call "lite beer." No, find you a quality watering hole and go find that beer list. Scan that sucker for things like Three Philosophers, Delirium Tremens, Chimay or a Brother Thelonius. These beers not only taste delicious, but they are strong! Yes, they'll cost you an extra buck or two, but everyone will call you "fancy" and say things like "nice choice." These compliments will boost your ego to egregious levels and you will have the confidence to whisper sweet nothings in the ear of a person of interest. TGIF.