New Orleans travelogue, Day 1: The Celebrity Game is weird

Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sport

Day 1 is in the books. Here are a few things we've learned.

Since it's my first All-Star Weekend, there is definitely a learning curve as you go. My first day here was no exception. Some things I've learned so far:

-Kevin Hart is actually everywhere. All the time.

-Nick Cannon is still, somehow, everywhere.

-Everything is confusing and there will be nobody around to clarify anything with you.

-There are a surprisingly large number of children on Bourbon Street after 11 p.m.

-If you have a media pass, they will try to deny you entry to the celebrity game you didn't even really want to go to.

-Once you make it inside the celebrity game you didn't really want to go to by sneaking in a side way, they treat you like a king if you have a media pass.

-With a media pass, they will let you into an empty Smoothie King Arena, because you thought that's where the celebrity game was, and will let you wander around said empty arena for almost an hour before you realize you're in the wrong place.

-Everybody smells like cigarettes and sadness.

-If it's Valentine's Day, a creepy mascot will try to give you chocolate, and you will accept it because shit I am so hungry.

-Your mom and dad are here and they are drunk and told me to tell you hi.

-If someone has a boa on Bourbon Street, they will attack you with it and then make you do the limbo underneath it. This is not optional.

-Oysters!

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Lobster dumplings!

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Pie with a pretzel crust!

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FREE BISCUITS.

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-Jalen Rose finally got to cut down a net and keep it. Unfortunately it was only after the celebrity game, but I have never seen him happier. (Note: This is not Jalen Rose, but trust me, Jalen Rose was happy).

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-I can't find Pau.

What is this about? Click here for all New Orleans All-Star Travelogue updates.

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