U.S. SYNCHRONIZED SKATERS
(Via Tom Ley at Deadspin)
This is the best, but the best of the best is the ma'am in the front row, third from the right. While everyone else is jumpin' around and wilin' out, she seems like the only one who probably could have used a few minutes. It's like they just got done telling her there was going to be a winner in the first place, and she was still getting over it.
It should be noted that Paul Pierce doesn't completely fall of his own accord. Shumpert's foot is just kind of diabolically set out there like a penny on a train track.
That analogy also works because I'm pretty sure the Nets have to lay railroad track before Paul Pierce can move anywhere on the court. The Army Corps of Engineers is so backlogged on work orders that they're still trying to lay track for Pierce to slide over and guard Chris Bosh in January.
hawwwww Paul Pierce is five years older than i am and is perhaps 86 percent as mobile as he was in his prime, hawwwwwwww
This captures Phillies fans' reactions to a Dan Uggla grand slam. The strikeout taunt would have been a pretty solid bet, since Uggla owns four of the top 100 strikeout-iest seasons of all time.
I say "would have been" because I just can't file this as a strikeout taunt. Lady No. 1 is doing the only thing that looks even remotely like holding a baseball bat. Lady No. 2 is throwing a Hadoken. Bro No. 1 is Kyrylo Fesenko at the top of the key, wondering why the hell he's there with the basketball, and chucking it to a teammate with all the finesse he has, which is none. Bro No. 2 is chopping wood that is sitting on top of a ladder, which seems like an unlucky thing to do. Bro No. 3 is out there in his own little Downy commercial, shaking a fresh bed sheet in a sunlit master bedroom. Bro No. 4 is congratulating a fellow retailer on finally selling 1249 Atchison Trail; they will later celebrate at Dave & Buster's. And Bro No. 5 is the little kid going through a turnstile for the first time who thinks he has to grab it and push it.
Oh, and Bro No. 6, right there in front, is the guy with the nunchakus in the player selection screen of every fighting game. He's got a backwards cap and a goatee, so I'm pegging him with the "mild-mannered computer programmer who entered the Tournament of Death to save his skateboarding brother from doom!" backstory. Never pick him. Always pick the sword guy.
Habs general manager Marc Bergevin sees his team put in the game-winning goal, and has no idea of what to do with his limbs. Playoff overtime hockey is frightening and unhealthy, and should be abolished.
God, Evan Fournier, I'm so sorry. Watching Chris Paul put his things together is like watching a grizzled old Navy vet tie a knot. He can moor a cargo ship before you're done tying your shoes.
I really love this one. Zach Randolph is kind of a wrecking ball of a basketball player. He is capable of finesse, as we see with this somewhat bewildering behind-the-back, bounce-pass oop, which is a thing I think I've never seen in my entire life. But even his finesse moves go, "KABOOM."
let's check in on the 2014 m.l.b. season
looks like all is well in the 2014 m.l.b. season