Ranking WrestleMania's 30 or so mostly terrible taglines

Jason Kirk systematically analyzed every single tagline from the history of WrestleMania, in order to rank the efficiency of every promotion for the biggest day in wrestling over the last 30 years.

Based on nothing but poetry and how much each makes me want to see the event being advertised (note: I can't find the taglines for a couple of the ones in the teens -- they were probably "Get Ready to Watch Wrestling" and "Don't Forget to Pay Money to Watch Wrestling ," I bet):

  1. 1: The Greatest Wrestling Event of All Time!
  2. 27: The Biggest WrestleMania Ever*
  3. 5: The Mega Powers Explode (hell yes)
  4. 9: An Event of Epic Proportions
  5. 30: Laissez les bons temps rouler
  6. 6: The Ultimate Challenge
  7. 10: Ten Years in the Making
  8. 4: What the World Is Watching
  9. 18: The One and Only
  10. 7: Superstars and Stripes Forever
  11. 2: The Premier Sporting Event of the Year!
  12. 19: Dare to Dream **
  13. 29: Greatness vs. Redemption***
  14. 28: Once in a Lifetime****
  15. 25: The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania
  16. 20: Where It All Begins ... Again
  17. 24: The Biggest WrestleMania under the Sun
  18. 3: Bigger! Better! Badder!
  19. 16: All Day Long
  20. 26. Get All Fired Up
  21. 22: Big Time!
  22. 13: Heat!
  23. 21: WrestleMania Goes Hollywood
  24. 8: Friendship Torn Apart!
  25. 23: All Grown Up*****
  26. 17: Houston ... We Have a Problem
  27. 14: dX-Raided
  28. 15: The Ragin' Climax

Good God Almighty

* Hard to top, but also a lie. The main event involved The Miz. Actually, could be beaten if a subsequent WrestleMania calls itself "The Actual Biggest WrestleMania Ever."

** An event with the tagline "Dare to Dream" also used a song by Limp Bizkit called "Crack Addict" as its theme. The early 2000s remain unparalleled.

*** A fine summary of the intended Rock-Cena storyline, but ruined by that not being the actual storyline.

**** Also a lie. The Rock and John Cena would meet again a year later.

***** All grown up? It's not all grown up. It's a pro wrestling event. A pro wrestling event involving Donald Trump.

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