Cheer up! There are plenty of fun summer sports

The World Cup has ended, and football doesn't start for another six weeks. But don't despair! Here's a look at some of the most exciting sports the summer months have to offer.

Quincy's Mitten


This sport is thought to originate from the mid-19th century, when a careless young boy named Quincy misplaced one of his mittens.

How to play: One player volunteers to be the Quincy, who sits on a chair wearing a pair of mittens. The Quincy then tosses one of his or her mittens in an arbitrary direction and cries out, "I've lost me mitten!" This signals the start of the game.

Once the mitten is tossed, the other players work as a team to find the mitten and return it to the Quincy. Running is allowed, but only if the player runs in the opposite direction of the mitten. This is unproductive, unless you are late for supper or would rather cry by your lonesome.

Lyrics to the Quincy's Mitten song:

Quincy's mitten has gone lost
It is the mitten he loves the most
It's good, then, that he has some friends
To help him get it back again!
Quincy, such a thoughtless child
You inspire rage and bile
Your reckoning will come, and soon
But we must find your mitten by noon!
It isn't Quincy's fault
It isn't Quincy's fault
Focus on the task at hand



The inventor of the wheel-kite, Earnest Harry, first demonstrated his work to the public in Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, in 1903. Unfortunately, his work was upstaged later that day by the Wright Brothers' first powered flight, but he didn't give up! Instead, he developed his wheel-kite device into a sport, also known as wheel-kite.

He changed his name to Wheel-kite Harry and set upon an American barnstorming tour, but was arrested in Tennessee on charges of witchcraft, and spent his remaining 83 years in prison.

How to play: Simply unspool the string attached to your wheel-kite and pull it. Its wooden frame and cast-iron wheels ensure that it will not fly off the ground, but it may topple over if you pull it too quickly. This caveat aside, the sport of wheel-kite encourages you only to pull your wheel-kite at the speed you feel is right for you.

Lyrics to the Wheel-kite song, as written by Wheel-kite Harry himself:

Wheel-kite, wheel-kite
It is just for fun



Baseball was invented by Alexander Cartwright in 1845, when he fielded his New York Knickerbockers Base Ball Club to play the New York Nines. His team lost, 23-1.

How to play: A player known as the "pitcher" stands on a small mound and throws a ball over a plate set into the ground. The "batter" stands near the plate and swings at the ball with a wooden bat, with the objective of hitting it into the field. Players then attempt to catch the ball with enormous gloves (only one per player, drawing parallels to Quincy's Mitten) and thwart the batter's effort to run around a diamond-shaped path.

Lyrics to the baseball song:

Take me out to the ballgame
Take me out to the crowd
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack
I don't care if I never get back!
Let me root, root, root for the home team
If they don't win, it's a shame
For it's one, two, three strikes you're out
At the old ball game!

Trying to jump and touch tall stuff when you're walking by it


I'm not so foolhardy as to suggest that I invented this sport, but I like to think that I arrived at the idea independently. At some point in my life, if I was really bored, I would jump and see if I could touch tall stuff while I was walking under it. When I was a kid I would do this with things like doorjambs. These days, I'm 5'11", which basically makes me six feet tall if I have my shoes on. So I've moved on to trying to touch ceilings. There's a support beam in my living room. When I'm walking through my living room, I'll often touch that.

How to play: You can play this just about anywhere. Parking garages are good.

Lyrics to the trying to jump and touch tall stuff when you're walking by it song:

Gyrrrrgh! Hold on.
Gyrrrrgh! Hold on.
Gyrrrrgh! Hold on.
Hold on.



How to play: Fortunately, dime-toss is impossible to describe or explain.

Lyrics to the dime-toss song:

Dimes! Dimes! Toss 'em in the pan!
Toss 'em in, as many as you can!
I am glad that I am tossing dimes
And composing useful rhymes
That explain the rules to this game
They shut off my electricity



This is commonly played by sports fans during the months of July and August, though many may not know it by this name.

How to play: Cover your god-damn face with your hands.

Lyrics to the naught-a-boo song:

Oh, maybe the UFC's on tonight?
Nah it's not
Maybe Madden is out
I guess I'll go to Target and
buy some pants and a steak
Maybe I can drive with my
Oh Lordy
Ohhhhh Lordy

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