You can't embed it, so you will have to watch Alan Thicke wearing the shortest shorts a forty-year-old man has ever worn in a 1992 commercial for youth soccer over on Youtube.
There you will discover these delights:
- Alan Thicke was unafraid of absolutely schooling his children with his devastating ball skills.
- Robin Thicke was not always a sad man holding a restraining order and five hundred unsold copies of his album. Once he was just a kid in a commercial getting dominated by his dad, and smiling gamely for the camera unlike his brother, the future marijuana dispensary owner.
- San Diego actually had an NASL team called the "San Diego Sockers," one that did quite well despite having a name causing most adults to cringe in shame every time they heard it.
- San Diego still has an indoor soccer team called the Sockers, though they are not technically the same franchise and only play under the legendarily corny name.
- This is from 1992. Kevin Crow, the featured Socker, still has a mullet, and tv star Alan Thicke appears to be using a Flowbee for his hairstyle needs. 1992 was much closer to 1988 than it was to 2000, the past is horrible, and you should never, ever wish to return there.
- The men of the 20th century had a confidence in wearing short shorts a 21st century man has to consider borderline insane.
- "Just ask the star of Growing Pains, Alan Thicke." This construction needs to make a comeback, and it needs to be applied to even the lowliest of celebrities in all situations.