Cool: Poster kings, Costacos Brothers, selling new poster with @DangeRussWilson for charity https://t.co/rDhWjUu5Vc pic.twitter.com/jbGmoIzV6N
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) July 27, 2016
Russell Wilson unveiled his new Costacos Brothers poster in Seattle on Tuesday night and it’s the perfect piece of nostalgic memorabilia for anyone who had a binder of Skybox basketball cards in the ‘90s. Is it cheesy? Yes. Weird? Yes. Awesome ... kind of. The Costacos Brothers dominated the ‘90s poster scene with stuff you probably had on your bedroom wall as a kid, and this is entirely their style.
There is so much going on in this Russell Wilson poster. Too much. It’s like one of those touchscreen games you find at a bar where you insert a dollar to find items hidden in a picture. It also raises a lot of questions.
Why is Russell Wilson wanted?
This is the biggest burning question the poster leaves unanswered. We assume it’s because he’s "ARMED AND DANGERUSS," but Wilson only seems to have footballs, magic tricks and a copy of Jock Jams with him.
None of this is illegal. Not in my America.
Why is Russ so dirty?
He’s covered in mud and grime (except for his clothes, which are pristine). Was this a covert op the U.S. Government disavowed? Did Russell Wilson go rogue after uncovering a deep conspiracy theory in the highest levels of government?
Is he really Jack Bauer? Think about it.
We need to talk about his library.
Russell has chosen the middle of CenturyLink Field to be the place of his last stand, so he brought some reading material.
"The Great Escaper Houdini," because he likes to escape.
"The Art of Score," which — let’s face it -- sounds like a book by a pickup artist.
"Persevere," "Perspective" and "Purpose." It’s a three-volume series. They get you to buy the first one and then you’re stuck.
"Air and Land Attack Plan." I’m no military genius, but it seems having a giant book titled "AIR AND LAND ATTACK PLAN" lying around probably isn’t wise.
Why does he only have first down balls?
Are these balls for first down only? What happens on second down? Do they exist to achieve first downs? He has a box of balls labeled "50 yard bombs." Wouldn’t those be preferable to "1st down balls" in every occasion?
A clock without hands that says "No Time 2 Sleep!"
But enough time to pull the hands off a clock and bring it with you.
THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS STADIUM.
I almost missed this one. You can see the flashbulbs and outlines of humans in those CenturyLink seats. What did they come to watch? Russ is clearly planning a last stand of some sort. He’s armed and dangeruss. He’s wanted. But nah ... you chill in the seats and watch this all unfold.
Suddenly tens of thousands of people are accomplices. Better enjoy going down with him.
Why did Russ bring wanted posters of himself?
Everything I learned about being a fugitive I learned from The Fugitive. It’s not like Dr. Richard Kimble ran around the entire movie with a wanted poster of Dr. Richard Kimble.
This is a terrible strategy. If Houdini had a chapter in his popular book "The Great Escaper Houdini" about escaping the authorities, he wouldn’t say "Carry a photo of yourself on a wanted poster."
Look, this poster is super cool. It’s weird — but it’s super cool. The money from its sales are going to charity and that’s what’s really important, but we can’t sit idly by while these questions are left unanswered.