Zach Woosley
Soccer Contributor
SB Nation Readers! You've read about him on the internets! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: Zach, aka. The Ginge. Physically unremarkable, he instead possesses a deformed set of values. Notice the hideously bloated sense of football's importance. Also note the club-footed social conscience and the withering cynicism. It's certainly not for the squeamish, is it? Most repulsive of all, are his frail and useless notions of order and sanity. If too much weight is placed upon them... they snap. How does he live, I hear you ask? How does this poor pathetic specimen survive in the harsh and irrational environment of modern football journalism? I'm afraid the sad answer is, "Not very well." Faced with the inescapable fact that football writing is mad, random, and pointless, one in eight of them crack up and go stark slavering buggo! Who can blame them? In a world as psychotic as this... any other response would be crazy!"
With Mario Götze out, Jürgen Klopp will be forced to make tactical adjustments
Before the news about Mario Götze's injury came out, Bavarian Football Works was already thinking about how Dortmund would adjust to the possible absence of their central attacking midfielder.
Mario Götze injury: Midfielder out for Saturday's final
Dortmund will be without Mario Götze on Saturday after being unable to overcome a hamstring injury sustained in late April.
Barcelona's new away jerseys just destroyed all other away jerseys
Barcelona unveiled their new jerseys for the 2013/14 season and while their home shirt is back to a traditional look, their new away kit is the best the club has had in years.
Mario Götze injury: Dortmund star trains, but leaves early
Dortmund midfielder Mario Götze participated in training today but was forced to leave after an hour with apparent discomfort in his injured hamstring.
Mallorca vs. Real Betis: Final score 1-0, Los Bermellones stay alive with the win
Mallorca are stlll in deep trouble but their victory today over Real Betis is at least a lifeline that gives them a chance of pulling off a great escape in the final two weeks of the season.
Jose Mourinho will leave Real Madrid at the end of the season
Florentino Pérez announced that Jose Mourinho will be leaving Real Madrid at the end of the season after three seasons in charge of one of Spain's biggest clubs.
La Liga Sunday: Deportivo La Coruña jump out of the relegation zone
Deportivo La Coruña took advantage of Real Zaragoza's late capitulation against Athletic Bilbao to move back out of the drop zone and into 17th place with two weeks left to play in Spain.
EPL Final Day Wrap: The Premier League closes with a relative whimper
After nine months of soccer the English Premier League season came to a close today with a relative whimper compared to the wild close last year.
A simple guide to the race for third, fourth and fifth place
With everything else of note already decided, we turn our attention to the one points of interest on this final day in the EPL, the battle for Champions League spots.
La Liga Saturday: Granada close to safety, Real Sociedad stay in fourth
Valencia put Real Sociedad under early pressure with a win over Getafe but the Txuri-urdin responded with a win of their own later in the day to remain in fourth place.
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