Seth Davis is a college basketball writer and personality, but he wants you to know he is so much more. He is a man who cares about things: the obesity epidemic in America, the benefits of juicing, and his mother's alkaline-balancing lifestyle business.
Appearing randomly in a stream of basketball thoughts last night was this:
So important. By green juicing you will NEVER worry about this again. Here is how.... fb.me/2D7fXcvfV— Renewed Living, Inc (@renewedliving4u) December 26, 2012
The site belongs to Davis' mother, who "kicked the s---" out of cancer and then started a business centered around ion-free renewed living, or something that involves deionized water and infrared saunas. It would be great to link to some peer-reviewed scientific literature describing the benefits of any of this, but you can't share something that doesn't exist.
This led to Davis noticing that America has many sad fat people, and this made him accordingly sad.
When I travel the country and see how many obese people there are (including young kids) my heart breaks. It doesn't have to be this way!— Seth Davis (@SethDavisHoops) December 26, 2012
This came after seven tweets about juicing, another tweet linking to his mom's science-free website, and another about how all you need to do to lose weight is drink twice as much water and no sugary soda, and perhaps you should go to his mom's website. (Also, something about juicing.)
Then he endorses "green juice," a blend of vegetables Davis consumes daily. For our purposes here, let's assume "green juice" is espresso brewed with absinthe. It's just as palatable as what he recommends.
Lots of people saying green juice sounds gross. I've been there. Once u start you will CRAVE it. You'll feel different if u don't drink it.— Seth Davis (@SethDavisHoops) December 26, 2012
Couldn't imagine a truer statement, because absinthe is delicious, and vegetables are not. Seth Davis has exposed others to this, and they THOUGHT IT WAS AS GOOD AS DRUGS:
I introduced green juice to producers at Turner last yr during tourney. One of them said the next day, "I think you got me high last night."— Seth Davis (@SethDavisHoops) December 26, 2012
Revealed: Seth Davis and one producer at Turner have never paid for quality narcotics. Don't worry about the scientific validity of his theories, though. Dr. Selig assures you of their validity.
My mom's company provides alkaline water machines for most of MLB including the @nationals. Good enough for Bryce, good enough for me.— Seth Davis (@SethDavisHoops) December 26, 2012
The same sport that brought you the infinite health benefits of ionizing necklaces and bracelets, and grown men and women paying money for them in the 21st century? MOVE OVER, MAYO CLINIC. This argument is already over.
To review: Seth Davis has solved the obesity crisis, carries around a foul deconstructed bottled salad with him at all times, and really wants you to go to his mom's website full of internet science and expensive, demon-killing deionizing equipment. (Because, umm...alkalinity, pH, juicing, and GMOs and raw food and stuff.) Seth Davis may be reached somewhere on the road to Wellville, or at his Twitter basketball and juicing account @SethDavisHoops.