Jay Z, watch out: there's a stodgy 66-year-old man coming to break up your marriage.
I'll be honest, I'm as surprised as you. Mike Krzyzewski seems kind of, well, not that hip. He does things his way, demands everybody else also do things his way, and since it works, he's done it year after year after year after year until he became the winningest coach in college basketball history. And he's spent a lot more time coaching Ryan Kelly than listening to Kelly Rowland. (Sorry, it was a stretch.)
But when Coach K spoke to Duke grad students waiting in line for basketball tickets, and made a surprising revelation: his intense passion for Beyonce. He discussed a Sports Illustrated awards dinner where he introduced LeBron James and had the opportunity to awkwardly introduce himself to his crush.
I'm madly in love with Beyonce...
... I go up to Beyonce. You know how guys think they have a lot of good lines? And, so I go up and I'm nervous as I can be. I'm like a teenager. And I go to her with a great line. I say, 'Hi, I'm Coach K.' And she said, 'Coach, I know who you are. I just listened to you for 10 minutes.' Like, patting me on the head. Little boy. So now I feel like I'm 11. So what's my next line? I come up and I say, 'You're my favorite.' My face is red as can be, you know, I'm like 4 feet tall right now. And she says, 'Well, that's nice.' And I asked her -- and I don't usually do this -- but I said, 'Would you take a picture with me?' So she takes a picture with me and I look, really, like I'm 12.
He does kinda look like he's 12.
Listen, Mrs. Carter: I'm not telling you you shouldn't be married to Jay Z. He's arguably my favorite rapper. He's a pop-culture icon. He's a true hip-hop entrepreneur. I'm just saying there's a reason you should consider a new senior citizen basketball coach instead of your incredibly cool husband.
Would you rather be with a guy who used to own 1/6 of a percent of a basketball team? Or one of the most respected basketball coaches of all time, the all-time leader in coaching wins?
You want someone who can put a ring on it? Coach K could put four rings on it: his 1991, 1992, 2001 and 2010 championship rings.
What's more impressive? Platinum albums or gold medals? Like Coach K's 2008 and 2012 Olympic championships, not to mention his 1984 and 1992 golds as an assistant.
A man with 13 No. 1 albums? Or with 18 No. 1 finishes as either the national champion, regular-season ACC champion or ACC Tournament champion?
Best of luck, Coach Kay Z.