Kevin Liles-US PRESSWIRE - Presswire
The internet plus college football equals disaster. This week: Georgia Tech fans visualize their secondary, buckets of scotch at Virginia Tech, a giant Jim Leavitt head, the return of Squinky, some guy's wife grows a member, Stanford being vituperative, and obviously Hogville. Follow @SBNationCFB
I came across a Middle Tennessee State flag as I walked to the Georgia game on Saturday, and marveled at the dogged—ha!—hatred UGA fans had for Georgia Tech. Then I marveled at the score of MTSU-GT. Then I saw this:
You know, as much as we talked about not taking this game for granted, in the back of our minds we all kinda knew that we could. "Sure, OK, we might lose to MTSU, but come on, no way we lose to Middle Tennessee State. It's gonna be a blowout."
Well, it's halftime, and Georgia Tech just scored to pull even with that team. When does the blowout start?
Good news: immediately after halftime. Bad news: ain't your blowout. Aftermath:
Things I have learned reading stingtalk this weekend
Paul Johnson is a moron and sucks. Tevin Washington sucks. Our athletes all suck. Orwin Smith is stupid. Bobby Ross sucks. Bobby Dodd ----ed everything up, was a selfish bastard, and sucks. GT fans suck. Radakovich sucks. Friedgen sucked. Our players should be crippled. Tech administrators suck. Our players do not want to win. Tech's program is as bad as Duke's. Tech will never be worth a crap. No coach can win at Tech. We should drop down to Division II.
Given all of that, why does anybody even care anymore? Why would anybody want to associate with the hot bucket of diarhea that Tech football is and has always been? What are we doing here?
Which team has given up worse, Tech or Arkansas?
Both teams coaches have lost the players and their fans. I think Arkansas is in a worse situation with the embarrassment that was Petrino and then John L. Smith. Both coaches seem out of touch with their players.
Double eesh after a kid fell from the upper deck on Saturday:
What questions do you have for the CPJ Call-In Show?
3. Is it EVER as bad as it SEEMS? …
1. Are you willing to do a PSA to inform fans that jumping from the Upper Deck is not worth ending their lives despite the poor on-field performance of you and your team?
RE: Why can't I just stop caring?
RE: Coach, are our players to dumb to run your offense? Or are you just a jack ass?
Aaaand the "post a picture of X" thread.
Post a picture of our secondary
Tears of Unfathomable Sadness are yours, Georgia Tech.
The rest of the week in spleen:
The other Tech in the league didn't have a real good time this weekend, either, with Virginia Tech falling to a Munchie Legaux hail mary to lose to a Big East team—again. What say you, all-caps twitter feed of The Key Play?
IF GEORGIA TECH LOSES, THE ACC SHOULD FORCE FEED PAUL JOHNSON GASOLINE.
WHAT IF SCOTCH CAME IN CANS?
I BET WHEN BRYAN STINESPRING PLAYS STARCRAFT HE MASSES 80 HYDRAS AND DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE LOSES.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW, BUT I'M EATING A BUCKET OF SCOTCH AFTER THIS GAME EITHER WAY.
DICK SHOTS DOT GIF!!!
0-2 IN THE BIG EAST, THAT'S OUR PROGRAM RIGHT NOW, AND THAT'S ON EVERYONE.
A disclaimer: The Key Play is an exceptionally reasonable man off Twitter.
Only loss was by USF, which went down against Florida State. They're getting antsy in Tampa. They're getting antsy enough to create a giant head of Jim Leavitt—you know, the guy who resigned in disgrace after eating several players—and display it proudly:
Also here is an emoticon blizzard about the USF band:
When FSU's band starts, or FSU fans start their stupid chant.
I'm not referring to when we are about to snap the ball, yes its best to stay quiet.
But during a time out, dead ball, pause in action, its PATHETIC that I am sitting 2 sections away from the band section (138), and I can hear the FSU band start, and the fans becoming rowdy. But when I look over to HOT's section, they are just standing around.
The band is named "H.O.T.," which means they are a decade old K-Pop boy band, which sounds fantastic.
Also this guy might up and faint.
I'm convinced that we have the talent to win the BE this year. We have the talent to win this game. I just see so many idiiotic decisions and poor coaching/play calling/lack of discipline/poor special teams over and over again. It is exhausting
Too exhausting to deploy that last period.
A salute to A Lion Eye, the world's most dedicated Illinois football fan, who managed to get this out in the midst of a 35-7 loss to Penn State:
I'll never change. I'm just sitting here, quiet, teeth clenched, telling myself we're still in this game and figuring out how we come back.
Stay strong, man. Probably don't read this response to your tweet:
Not a good sign when you're getting the Area Ty Willingham reference five games into your career.
Most Wisconsin complaint ever if only it involved cheese curds:
I am pissed. The badger lost. And I cant drink a handle of Korbel during a badger game like I used too.
Getting old sucks. Losing a game you should have won sucks.
Not drinking well is worse.
They actually outperformed expectations as a twelve-point dog at Nebraska, so it's relatively mellow on their boards.
I'd already fallen in love* with now-Grantland writer Brian Phillips by the time he revealed to the internet that he was an Oklahoma State fan, invented a malevolent squid-god named Squinky that was responsible for decades of painful Cowboy failure, and watched Squinky quail and flee from Brandon Weeden in a glorious, decades-in-the-making catharsis. Today I regretfully report that Squinky is back and he is pissed.
i heard squinky is back.
It is true. In the first month of Okie State's season they've lost to Arizona thanks to the avalanche of turnovers that I waited three years for fate and luck to bestow on Rich Rodriguez,—sod off, RR-related fate and luck—lost their starting quarterback to injury, and now have been nipped by Texas thanks to a potentially outrageous call.
OSUMedievalguy: Lethargy and despair.
L-Town Poke: Drunk.
dlm4: pissed off that the refs limited the paddle people, yet refused to do anything about texas and their MONKENING cowbells...
NotOnTV: Also drunk and disappointed, but very very glad that I savOred last year to the extent I did. OSU football-wise and personally it was my very best year ever, and years like 2011 don't come along often, so at this point in know to fully revel in those moments.
pokesinvegas02: Like we should have worn the orange camo's.
OrangeCrush: I feel like i just woke up and found out my wife grew a p3n1s last night.
NYC Poke @ Orange Crush: Dude.
But at least they're not Texas fans demanding three dollars and fifty cents.
*[Phillips: "Hunter S. Thompson rolls into town and three hours later he's licked a toad, started a brawl in a hospital, and impregnated a Hell's Angel; I went to see The Muppets with my mom." QED.]
Man, do you know how hard it is to find a Stanford fan that fits the parameters for this column? YOU DO NOT KNOW
In context, Josh Nunes performance.......
Granted, the culprit of an anemic offensive performance is usually the quarterback. Well, who is else there to blame? The game plan against Washington was painfully predictable. However, I've evaluated the offensive performance and there was nothing I can pinpoint which would have indicated such a poor performance from Josh Nunes. …
The response to this:
You are getting perilously close to wearing out your welcome, between this nonsense and the genuflection to Condotta in another thread.
Y'all fancy with your words. Between the general lack of Stanford internet chatter and guys using "genuflection" correctly, that's all I've got. I mean, here's the SB Nation Stanford outfit:
Dissecting a loss is a bitter kind of fun – no, what am I saying? Bitter. In the interest of preserving at least some sanity, let us start by being extra fair to David Shaw et. al. before getting to the highly unreasonable, vituperative stage, the premise of which is: either things change, or David Shaw is delusional.
You guys need to grok the tao of Hogville a little. At least throw in an emoticon or sixteen exclamation points after you dust off "vituperative" or something.
This happens every time Stanford disappoints, by the way. There is no fanbase that hews more rigidly to stereotype. That I know this is a tribute to Jim Harbaugh and David Shaw, because seriously they should be Duke.
BONUS THING THAT MAKES ME SAD:
Shaw may be right, and this team may have the ability which will be coaxed out of them over a long season of improvement and what-have-you. Or he is delusional. Do not rule out the latter: the cult of execution tried, in the Midwest, to turn Denard Robinson into a West Coast passer.
goddammit where's my bathtub of gin oh here it's here yayyyy bathtub of giiiinnnnn yes I said yes I will yes bathtub of gin
TWIS Q: Was Bruins Nation actually the sanest voice in college football the last six years? They've got a case.
It is our God-given duty to don the biohazard suit and hit up Hogville after someone said "false hope is worse than death" and got a "THIS!!!" last week. 10-7 turned into 58-10 for Arkansas, John L., Petrino, you know the drill. Let's do it.
self inflicted wounds all over the place
RE: Maybe they'll apologize for not cutting it off like Fox did yesterday.
Piss on this poverty team.
UNNECESSARY QUOTE MARKS
Paul Petrino better be gone after this year. His playcalling can be described with words like:
........I could go on. I could call better plays fro my couch with an Xbox controller. Absolutely pathetic.
RE: please don't describe it as "un-logical"
RE: How about a "HB Screen"... By my count through 270 minutes this season, I have counted ZERO?
RE: A "MONKEY" with a box of bananas could do better than these coaches! !!
What do I do that's more embarrassing than being a Hog fan right now?
3) I watch Cartoon Network. Not just Adult Swim, I mean I actually watch Looney Tunes, Regular Show, etc. I'm 35, by the way.
2) I drive really, really fast in my car. It's a sports car. I'll race ya... If you drive a Hyundai or such. If you have a really nice car (ie sporty)... I might pull out my phone and pretend I'm talking on it to get out of losing.
1) I, a 35 yo with a post-graduate degree... play... World of Warcraft.
Whew. I feel better. Go Hogs Go.
I am a bargain.
AS THEY SAY ON THE INTERNETS, "THIS"
1873Hawg: As the Pig Burns...
Sivad: The Integrity Follies
oldbear: Who's The Boss???
LRHawg: CSI: BAC
RzrHawg: Hogway to Hell
fatmanhog: Internal explosions
sickboy1138.2: Seinfeld. It's a show about nothing.
FANONTHEHILL: Son of a Ditch
Porked Tongue: Next Year
ErieHog: An Enormous Pile Of Darn
PiggieSmalls: How I Met Your Intern
nwa_razorback_coffee: Arkansas Has No Talent
If our team was allowed to tackle A&M's QB. She was talking about the D line standing there giving him all day to throw. By the way, she can't spell "football" but was pretty observant.
THE ASCENSION OF JOHN L SMITH TO A HIGHER PLANE OF EXISTECNE
We are lucky to have JLS. He has reached the enlightened state of pure Zen where he has transcended the material world. He knows things like finances and football wins are unimportant. I finally saw that yesterday as he grinned ear to ear even as we were being pounded by aTm.
He has taught the players Zen as well. Clearly our secondary has learned the art of peaceful meditation and have chosen to be away from others so as not to be disturbed. I laughed at the aTm fans who were so caught up in worldly things that they had to derive their sense of joy from the material world of winning.
I am concerned that other schools may catch on to this and come after JLS. We need to put a multimillion dollar buyout clause in this contract and lock him down. I know the money means nothing to JLS because he has transcended worldly things. But it might deter other schools and it would give Arkansas fans the peace of mind knowing JLS is here to stay
RE: We could become the Arkansas RaZENbacks. Home of the Hugs.
False hope is worse than death. Desire nothing, and live forever. Arkansas football. Go Hogs.
NEXT WEEK: LSU-Florida leaves the loser shattered, spicy, and deep-fried. West Virginia-Texas leaves the loser the first and last there. Convicts versus Catholics! Wake Forest-Maryland! Arkansas-Auburn! Chaos! Carnage! College football!
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