I know you've really been looking forward to this moment, Billy. You practiced for weeks when they told you you'd be the tee kid for that nationally televised game. Your idol Gus Johnson was going to be there. I know how much you enjoy those Buffalo Wild Wings commercials he's in. Yeah, I know those mango habanero wings are pretty darn hot. Yikes!
Here's the thing, though. You've got to move it a little bit. Hustle, you know? I don't want you out there getting hurt. Those are some big fellas! Pick up that tee and run like a big boulder is chasing you. Have you ever seen Raiders Of The Lost Ark? No. Oh, that movie is 30 years old, isn't it? Okay, here's a YouTube clip. You guys do still use YouTube, right?
I know you've got it in you. Maybe you had a couple extra pieces of candy this week. My mom used to pack extra Halloween Butterfingers in my lunch, too. Don't worry, I'm sure someone else will score in this game, and you'll have a chance to really shine. I believe in you. America believes in you. As long as you believe in yourself, too, you can run out there, pick up that tee, and hightail it out of there like you're the next Johnny Football.
Go get 'em kid.
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