This Week In Schadenfreude: At least everyone's not Auburn

Andrew Weber-US PRESSWIRE

TWIS rounds up the ragiest rage being said on the internet about college football weekly. This week: Al Borges vitriol poems, everyone thanks God they're not Auburn except the Auburn guy asking Jesus for a meteor, not sure if "Tressel For Wisconsin" is serious, and #$** YOU MACK BROWN YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE

Well… yeah, Michigan only lost by five at Ohio State and the spread was three and basically everything went according to expectation. But when Twitter blows up with people who don't care about or even kind of hate Michigan because the offensive coordinator is holding up a giant sign that says "RUN" or "INEFFECTIVE RUN or PASS," yeah people get mad.

Like this guy in the inbox:

Dear Brian,

I request that at some time during the next Borges press conference one of your surrogates ask: why? Why? Why?

Perplexed

Like this guy on the MGoBoard:

Borges sucks

Do you think Ohio has figured out Fester's play calling. Worst quarter plus since the first quarter against EMU last year.

NFG: Concur. Hope you're not negged for this. He makes [loathed MSU OC] Roushar look like Nostradamus mixed with Jesus

TheLastHoke: I think it might be wise to shut down the blog for the rest of the day if we end up losing. It might save a number of people from acting like complete idiots and totally embarrassing themselves. The levels of intoxication, angst, and impotent rage are all reaching critical mass.

[hahahaha! is internet! is pointless!]

allintime23: I know it's ridiculous to accuse him of throwing games but, what the f--- is going on?

brandonmano: I'm always 100% opposed to these types of threads.

That being said, he lost this game. We had a lead at half and only allowed 6 points in the final 30 minutes. I can't even begin to try and comprehend what was going through his mind. I'm livid.

Or this guy who posted the same thread like two seconds later:

Borges should be fired.

completely predictable, won't play Denard and Devin at the same time for some reason and insists on running it up the middle for one yard losses

SheridanForMVP: "We want to get both on the field on the same time because they are our best athletes"

-Al Borges

NEVER F---ING DOES IT

bluetell @ SheridanForMVP: We need a 'scumbag Borges' meme

Bando Calrissian: Cosign with prejudice

ColoradoGoBlue: More dynamic packages against IOWA???? That makes sense. Don't get creative against the better team. Brilllllliant!!!!!

[drumroll…]

TheGhostofYost: As bad as the RR defenses were, this 2nd half was the worst display of football I've ever seen.

That last one is categorically false.

There is a petition to fire Al Borges, and a protest:

Let's protest in front of Schembechler Hall for Borges' firing!!!

Mgoblog unite!!!! America!!!!

edit: there will be punch and pie

but let's all keep our eye on what's important here:

An important thing to keep in mind, with all of this rage.

Jim Delany is still terrible.

Rutgers lost today, 27-6 to a terrible Pittsburgh team.

Maryland is up at the half, but they are still a 4-7 team.

You suck, Jim Delany.

Jim Delany killed iCarly, and I don't even know what an iCarly is. Maybe it's a prototype human robot, probably created with Michigan research. But Jim Delany killed it.

Why was Michigan/Ohio State at noon? Why was it not at 3:30?

Was it to keep Ohio State fans off the streets after sunset, a likely story?

Or was it to play The Game before Al Borges woke up? Well, trick question, Al DID wake up. Before falling asleep again, but he's on to you, Jim Delany.

Because who scheduled this Game for noon? Jim Delany.

If Jim Delany were a kitchen utensil, he would be a sieve. Because it's all your fault, Jim Delany. All your fault.

We want moooooore goals.

Article-1309509-0b0f52b0000005dc-769_634x388_medium

EDIT: as per everything Jim Delany, this post is sponsored by Barbasol, avocados, and Generic Farm Implements.

After a long day of using your Generic Farm Implements, why not kick back with a shave and some avocaodes? Or why not farm some avocadoes, then shave? You could even shave your cattle, feed them avocadoes, and then ride around on your farm implements. The combinations truly are endless.

But no matter how many variables and things you throw in, make sure to divide them with Michigan and Ohio State in separate groups. Thank you.

We will return to "Big Ten Icons: Tom Osbourne" in a second.

Elsewhere in Michiganmandom: "Vitriol Haikus"

They went from the I
Vincent Smith up the middle
Why would it work now?

And vitriol limericks.

I once knew a coach named Al Borges
Whose head was so bald it was gorgeous.
His play calls were lame,
So he lost The Game.
Now we know all his praises were bogus.

Close enough! I think we're done here.


Notre Dame vs. Georgia or Alabama? || Give up on Jon Gruden || The coaching candidates list

The rest of the week in spleen:

ACC

Georgia Tech did only a little worse against Georgia than they did against Middle Tennessee State, but people are still upset:

Lamb to the slaughter


Actually feel bad for the players right now. We are completely dominated in all aspects of anything to do with football. Coaching, recruiting, play calling, talent level, everything! Our high school Russell uniforms even suck. This is embarrassing.

If you mentally insert the giant crying emoticon after every blockquote here you will get the full experience of reading Stingtalk. It's annoying. Some posts are quotes of bigcry.gif that are just bigcry.gif, and they make me want Georgia Tech to suffer.

Anyway:

TampaBayJacket: Its official, our players drink Zima

JoeCakeEater: I wish I drank a lot more Zimas this morning.

BainbridgeJacket: Since zimas are out of circulation, I recommend jack Daniels mixed drinks. Glass makes an adequate shattering sound when thrown off my sixth floor balcony.

End it all:

We really should drop this series


We end the year every year with an increasingly embarrassing loss. Who wants to end every year on a downer? We can't compete. Our players are the same level as the service academies. We are stuck with Paul Johnson because of a STUPID contract extension.
I've never felt more hopeless than now.

And Mark Richt has lost control of Stingtalk:

Richt is a a classless douchebag


Still got his team playing dirty, starters still playing in the blowout on D.
Karma, rise up and do your thing.

But hey!

At least we aren't Auburn. 42-0 halftime.


Hmmmm.

image

To be continued.

Florida State lost to Florida as part of an 0-4 whitewashing in the unofficial SEC-ACC challenge, prompting this annual post:

definitly an ACC TEAM


took us a while but nwo we are 100% there... thanx Jimbo

And this sad emoticon blitz:

My brother called me today

Asked if we are going to watch the Steelers today.I told him that I don't like football anymore.
He said, "Why? Because your team gave up 24 points in the 4th quarter?"
There is no comeback for that. You just tuck your tail between your legs and move on redfacedisbeliefohlord

And this reply to the sad emoticon blitz:

I wore a wig down to the store this morning.

And what is it with people in Florida intentionally mangling "ass"?

This was a monumentally embarrassing loss


You are playing at home. You have a 5th year senior starting quarterback. You have one of the best defenses in the nation. You are playing a team that was 7-6 last year. The Gators have a first year starting quarterback, and he's a little gimpy. This is one of the worst Gator offenses in years. They pretty much have been winning with smoke and mirrors.

........and they freaking hand you your A$$!!!!!!! Just like the rest of the SEC handed the ACC its A$$ today. Great job Jimbo. You have really turned things around. Muschump just outcoached you big time, and may actually be playing for a national title if Notre Dame loses in just his second year. You ought to be freaking embarrassed. But at least we get to play in a pathetic championship game against a 6-6 Georgia Tech squad.

This feels like a Miami poster.

Big 12

Texas's mid-season resurgence came to a clattering halt in a 20-13 loss to TCU. Shaggy Bevo, you have gif yes?

At least you won't develop an ulcer or serious drinking problem. Good luck against KState guys.

Bandittu_medium

via i174.photobucket.com

longhornsgirl: If I become an alcoholic, can I blame Mack Brown?
cajunhorn: Always gotta blame somebody else. ~Mack Brown
twicebannedHF: Exactly! I don't blame Mack for my alcoholism, but he's a close $#@!ing second. $#@! mack brown!

theropods: I went outside and threw my new tomahawk instead of watching the game for several long stretches. I threw it so much and so hard, one of the bolts on the handle came out. I will be getting it repaired and highly recommend everyone purchase several tomahawks before the KSU game. You are probably going to break one.

Elsewhere in Shaggy Rage:

They now know how many gangstas we got...

And the answer is 0.

H34TX: Shipley was yelling at someone so that counts

Mac65Hookem: This team is about as gangsta as a box of kittens sitting on a cloud.

Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand: is it too much to ask for one of our players to shoot an opposing player in the face?

Frank Justice, Sr. @ Mac65Hookem: Yeah, a $#@!ing gangsta cloud.

TJ: We're gonna bring SO MUCH $#@!ING SWAGGER to the Holiday Bowl. GOTDAMN I"m pumped!

And

$#@! this $#@!

get the $#@! out mack

TheCruiser: Can the 2013 slogan for the team not be RISE? Can it be changed to "2013: $#@! You, Pay Me!" ???

And

Fire Mack Brown

Fire

Mack Brown.

unless he resigns.

fire someone today.. . for practice.

Bevo14: $#@!in dammit $#@!. Can't even $#@!in squash some piss$#@! $#@!roaches on my 96th $#@!in birthday.

936horn: I would literally trade at least one of my kidneys for boom to be our HC right now

Wally Pryor: Linda Cohn sucks. I'm sure there's another thread for this. But this one works just fine.

6th Street: Mack needs to be taken out to pasture and shot. Old Yeller style.

texas08: $#@! YOU MACK BROWN. $#@! YOU....trace my IP $#@!ing Belmont $#@!gots....you can't get a team ready for $#@!...VY and Colt bought you time in the forty acres....now $#@! OFF YOU $#@!ING THIEF. leave this $#@!ing state you bastard.

Pimphand: mackbrown-texasanuspreparation.com

Sorry, Linda Cohn.

Big East

Rutgers! Hey, you'll be out of this category soon!

I’d rather drink from the Raritan than get my hopes up about this team.

by Dazed and Bemused on Nov 24, 2012 11:43 AM PST

I don't even know what that means. I bet the Raritan is like a really big tanning place. Welcome to the Big Ten.

Russell Athletic Bowl Here We Come!

The game will match the third pick from the ACC against the second selection from the Big East.

by mkasanoff on Nov 24, 2012 12:14 PM PST

Dazed and Bemused: what makes you think we’d be chosen second?

mkanasoff: New York TV market…

Welcome, Rutgers Cable Subscribers. Welcome.

Louisville! Hey, you'll be out of this conference soon! You lost to… you don't care even a little bit. You are busy creating a thread with 1100 posts in it with every one of them recommended. I wish the Big Ten had added you instead of Rutgers.

Big Ten

Notre Dame is 12-0 and in the national title game, but in 2008

image

At Least We Aren't Auburn


We may be stuck with Charlie Weis for one more (probably) inept season...but at least we aren't Auburn! After showing Tuberville the door, Auburn masterfully searched for his replacement. They proudly hired...Gene Chizik? Niiice. Way to go Tigers.

Iowa may have finished 4-8 and caused everyone to die the day after thanksgiving as they watched a cornerback intercept a five-yard slant on a do-or-die two minute drill but

image

Well at least we aren't Auburn

They are getting their tails whipped and the fight in Auburn is gone. Chizik is going to lead Auburn to a historic low when it comes to football there.

Their message board are just exploding about Gene. His team is about as bad as it gets in the BCS. Brutal to watch.

Wait Michigan again?

image

As bad as this day is, at least we're not Auburn fans.

Finally, in the land of cheese curds a movement grows.

Main_banner_medium

via www.tresselforwisconsin.com

Wisconsin you so cray.

Pac-12

UCLA lost to wait, what this thing with the bouncing and the ball and…

What's wrong with Ben Howland? Before I can get to that let me just say the question can no longer be IS there something wrong but now it is WHAT is wrong. With all due respect to Cal Poly and their classy coach, this was the worst loss ever for UCLA basketball.

Cal-Poly? Like, as in Polytechnic? Like as in everyone at this school knows what a Raspberry Pi is?

I am now thinking something I never dreamed I would say. This team right now would be better off "coached" by Steve Lavin.

I wonder if… yeah

lmao

This is like asking who would you prefer, Hitler or Stalin? Hmmm…

Obvious.

Washington lost to Washington State! To the Willinghammobile!

"Perfect storm to lose this game"

all to reminiscent of Willingham’s success at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

I am disturbed by a fan base that seems too willing to accept mediocrity. Is this the depths to which Willingham sank the program? The 0-12 season from Willingham was a reflection of very poor coaching, not lack of talent, and an AD and UW Administration unwilling to demonstrate the support for the program necessary to replace Willingham sooner. Notre Dame must be thanking themselves they cut him loose when they did. Barring a loss later today against USC, the Irish will be playing for a national championship. Guess they are rebuilt. Sark is barely above .500 after 4 full years and is still "rebuilding."

With Sark as HC, WA football may never get beyond rebuilding. If that is acceptable to Husky fans, then Willingham’s influence has been worse than I imagined.

by Velodawg on Nov 24, 2012 12:18 AM PST reply actions 2 recs

I would criticize but the half-life of a Rodriguez reference in a ragepost on MGoBlog is about six posts.

SEC

Arkansas dismal, John L Gone, etc.

image

Hit.

Arkansas Football 2012 finally has a motto (Posted on 11/21/12 at 4:16 p.m.)


At least we are aren't Auburn.
Seriously though prayers for Auburn fans.

Tennessee: dismal, Dooley gone, Grudenthread:

image

Seriously , McGee is a better hire than you think. We both are down , but at least we aren't Auburn. They are getting Bob IMO.

I guess we should check in with Auburn fans, then.

dear jesus... please let a meteor fall out of the sky and take out this stadium full of suck... and the bammers as well.

At least it's over. A ceremonial Scott Tenorman of The Week to the guy calling for Jesus to smite his own football team with a meteor (oh and 'Bama).

NEXT WEEK: There is no next week! Bowl edition in January!

Look through SB Nation's many excellent college football blogs to find your team's community.

Check out the SB Nation Channel on YouTube

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join SBNation.com

You must be a member of SBNation.com to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SBNation.com. You should read them.

Join SBNation.com

You must be a member of SBNation.com to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SBNation.com. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.