#Lookit

Florida's Jessamen Dunker arrested for grand theft moped

John Sommers II

And a grand moped it was!

That sounds horrifying and daring! This is a step shy of a train robbery. What mayhem! What dastardly daring and-

Oh. That's barely even some University of Georgia mayhem.

I'm sure it's a nice moped, and if it was indeed stolen, it should be returned to its rightful owner immediately as the guilty party is reprimanded appropriately. But it's high time we include not-so-grand theft auto in the lawbooks. A lawbook is a book of laws.

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