#Lookit

GIF: Cal player penalized for celebrating play that never happened

Stephen Lam

This wasn't a regular touchdown-negated-by-celebration penalty. This was a everything-but-the-penalty-negated penalty.

Cal defensive back Michael Lowe was hit with a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty against Washington State for celebrating what he believed to be a 78-yard pick-six. Making matters worse, he was ruled down earlier in the play, meaning that nothing following that moment existed in our reality.

Lolcal_medium

Except for the celebration penalty. An unpaid athlete celebrating his athletic feat is such a detestable act that it can never be stricken from the pages of the universe.

I believe the officials didn't go far enough here. Cal football should be forced to celebrate this 15-yard penalty until it earns another one. This should continue until Cal football has backed itself into the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, and then it should be forced to keep flipping until it digs all the way to the center of the earth. And then Cal must keep flipping like the hamster at the center of the hamster wheel that is the world.

Only then will you learn your lesson about flipping, Cal.

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