Big East realignment: Recommendations for new conference name

Stacy Revere

The Big East could sell its name to the "Catholic Seven" splinter group. What should they go with as they try to start their new future? We have ideas.

It's possible that the Big East will give up its name to the group known as the Catholic Seven, the basketball schools splitting from the once-proud conference, per CBS Sports' Jeremy Fowler. We have ideas about what it should be.

There's been some questioning over which side will get to retain the name: The basketball schools are technically the ones leaving the conference and as such would seem to be the ones most likely to lose the name, but four of those schools were founding members of the league, while only UConn is the only founding member staying. In December, the Big East offered its name to the Catholic Seven -- for the right price. Now, Fowler reports that a provision in the conference's proposed media rights contract with the NBC Sports Network set aside $2 million for marketing a new name, but ESPN ended up matching the contract with no guaranteed word on whether the naming provision exists.

Most likely, the Big East will sell its name. They're strapped for cash -- that new TV contract isn't exactly big cash when you consider what other conferences make -- and it doesn't seem as if holding onto the title will help them out that much. We're here to help a league on its last limbs survive a steady decline with some grace: some suggestions for the league's new name

  • The USA Conference: Crappy college football teams welcome. Damn near this entire conference used to be in the Conference USA, so you might as well own up to it. Besides, hopefully it will draw fans by accident, in the same way some dude is sitting out there with the rights to "Goofle.com" hoping the big guys pay up at some point.
  • The Big Uncentered Heap Geography really didn't work out the last time when they added Boise State and San Diego State.
  • The Big 26: The Big Ten has 14 teams, the Big 12 has 10, so why not just make stuff up at this point? Besides, blatantly lying about your conference's numbers is no worse than adding Memphis to boost your real numbers, and the Big East already went down that road.
  • The Big-Tang Clan: Featuring USFZA, UCFZA, Southern Methodist Man, UCwonn the Chef, Bearcat Killah, ECU-God, Memphis Killa, and the late Ol' Navy Bastard, straight out of Shaolin Temple University. (Sry Houston and Tulane)
  • THE NEW WAVE CONFERENCE: The Big East sucked when it was alive, and now this new conference is WIPING IT OUT with hot new teams like Navy, East Carolina (the Pirates) and Tulane (the Green Wave). Hell yeah, their best idea to save a conference was going nautical. I guess what I'm trying to say is, grab your board, because this is one wave you're gonna want to be riding. Tubular!
  • The BEAST: The Sunbeast never came to fruition. This retains some of the prior name and also could provide for awesome marketing opportunities with Milwaukee's Best, which is basically the Big East of beers.
  • Cincy and the East-tettes
  • Two legitimate FBS Teams, a girl, and a Pizza Place
  • The Big Buncha Teams That Don't Really Care What Part Of The Country You're From, They Just Wanna Get Together And Have A Good Time And Maybe Play Football
  • The Big Sleep: Makes sense and will grab any crossover Raymond Chandler fans who have had trouble deciding on a conference
  • The Big Hurt (note to self: get in touch with Frank Thomas' lawyers)
  • The Big LEAST: amirite guys (seeks high five from Jim Delany, who refuses to look away from his platinum-encrusted bowl of Rotel cheese dip

We'd love to hear your suggestions. So would Big East Commissioner Mike Aresco. Seriously. He's taking notes.

(And before you say it, yes, "Memphis Man" or "U-Conn" in the Wu-Tang joke thing.)

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