Sometimes food ideas don't present themselves in a way that that can tie in to sports without some shoehorning. Other weeks, news will come down that perfectly lends itself to a Spillymeal. This is one of those weeks.
When it was reported that Chick-fil-A is going to be renaming their bowl game the Peach Bowl, it was quickly decided that there had to be a Spilly version of this. However, where I live, there aren't any close enough to my residence to pick up and use for ingredients. So I said: Why not make my own? Today, follow along as a clueless northerner recreates a southern classic: our very own Chick-fil-A sandwich and waffle fries, with a Peach Bowl twist.
STEP 1) First, we'll choose a frozen processed filet to use. Be sure to select one that's pre-breaded, so that when we bread it again, it adheres easier to the surface. You might as well get one pre-cooked, too, so you can focus more on frying up that crispy breading and less on all that pesky salmonella.
STEP 2) Now that you have your meat, you're going to prepare the first coating for it to be fried in. This base coating will be made from some crushed potato chips and water. I've even selected chips that resemble the famed Chick-fil-A waffle fries!
Mash up the chips and let the water soak in until you have tepid starchgoop. Then roll the chicken around in it and fry it in a pan full of oil.
STEP 3) While the chicken is frying, let's begin making the second breading layer. This one will provide a gentle sweetness to our chicken fillet, which will counteract the saltiness of the potato chip layer. To achieve this, crush up six shortbread cookies into the same bowl. Remove the chicken from the pan and place directly into the new breading. If done correctly, it should form a new layer on top of the chips. Press into a ball that vaguely resembles the patty you had before.
STEP 4) Add this back into the pan. Yes, you could strain out the old charred potato chips from the grease, and...sure, that would be somewhat less of a flare-up hazard than it is now. But honestly, it's not really fast food until you have one uncontrollable grease fire!
This will take a lot longer to fry evenly, giving you time to begin the last breading layer. Like its great southern food brethren pulled pork and sweet tea, this chicken sandwich will be quadruple-breaded and -fried. The last layer will also feature the best ingredients.
STEP 5) The Nerds will add a fun party atmosphere to your sandwich, and if you're lucky, the colors will bleed into the chicken for a nifty confetti meat cupcake effect! The Wasabi will act as the bonding agent between the nerds and the rest of the chicken doughball. Mix these up in that same bowl, and transfer the chicken back. Coat evenly in batter.
STEP 6) We're still not quite ready to fry up this layer. There's too much Wasabi! It might float away in the thrice used pan oil! What to do... what could we coat this in to finish the job?
Use Ovaltine in chicken any time you want to achieve that Malted Meat Ball effect!
Place the Ovaltine in a bag and toss liberally to coat any remaining batter.
STEP 7) At this point, the chicken will look more like a baseball than a fillet. You'll want to smash it down enough so that there are flat surfaces to fry in the pan, if you don't have a deep fryer. Return this to the oil in the pan, which should have blackened enough that plumes of smoke are now polluting your kitchen.
Once you've extinguished the range top of any infernos, the last breading layer will be complete. You should now have a finished Chick-fil-A-ish patty ready for your sandwich. Place on a drying towel and set aside as we begin our waffle fries.
STEP 8) Waffle fries are mysterious. How do they grow the potato in a waffle shape? How do they manage to get seven gallons of oil in just one medium fry box? Why are there four entire fries surrounded by nothing but potato shards? To answer this, let's examine how they're made.
The first ingredient in any waffle fry is, of course, Waffle Crisp cereal. Look at that fella there with his spoon, ready to eat his little brothers and sisters. Awww.
Next up, is our themed ingredient: peaches! I was unable to find a real peach at the supermarket, so I went with the next best thing. Gummy peaches and a can of chunks!
STEP 9) Place everything into the blender. The gummy rings will give the blender blades trouble, which is odd considering I've tossed countless meats in there before and it's only just now tripping over a candy chew.
STEP 10) If it gets soupy, feel free to add in more cereal. Once you have a consistency you like, it's time for the last two ingredients, barbecue sauce and pickles.
As we've discovered before, pickles are highly resistant to blending. Nevermind that though; we can still cook them with the rest. Pour this batter into a warmed and greased waffle iron.
That doesn't seem like enough for an entire waffle. Put more in. Fill it up. Make sure you don't see any open space. I'm tired of these half-formed waffle fries I always get in my box. We're going to do this right!
oh god oh no oh god oh no oh god aaaaaah turn it off turn it off smoke everywhere
Okay. It's off. Let's... let's see where we are and what we can do with it.
Chick-fil-A also makes soups! Pour this into a bowl for a fun peachy-pickley soup!
With that disaster averted, it's time to put it all together. Due to the enormous size of the chicken fillet, slice an entire sourdough round loaf in half. Take the rest of the pickles from the jar and pile them on the bottom. Then place the chicken on top and pair with the waffle... soup.
HAPPY EATING, INTERNET!