A Bored High School Student explains spring college football

I guess you can't call him Johnny Spring Football anymore!!! - Scott Halleran

This is the biggest College Football Offseason 2014 event of the year! SB Nation's GIF Tournament V

Warning: A Bored High School Student's thoughts on spring football have not been edited whatsoever. Reading them will not make you smarter about college football in any way.

College Football Offseason 2014 is in high gear, and there are many crucial factors for sports fans everywhere to chow down on. But how do you know what is going on in Spring Football when there are no games to watch on ESPN and the other dumber channels? It is important to compare and contrast all the major factors to really get at the truth once and for all.

First of all to understand Spring Football you have to understand the calendar in the United States of America. It may feel like College Football Season 2014 is a hundred months away but really it is only six! In the middle times just to keep everybody sharp at football, coaches all get together and make their players do spring football. These events are mandetory, which means if you don't show up you can kiss your job at the football factory goodbye! Sorry just a little "tough love".

A Bored High School Student on: Johnny Football The Big Ten Iowa

Some people claim that College football is American football played by teams of student athletes fielded by American universities, colleges, and military academies, or Canadian football played by teams of student athletes fielded by Canadian universities. It was through college football play that American football rules first gained popularity in the United States.

Coaches like Spring Football 2014 because it gives them a chance to look at their players one on one and eye to eye. Some say you can't be ready to play football in the fall if you aren't getting ready in the spring. That is what you wear on a t-shirt if you are ready for the football training lifestyle.

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Nic Saban who is the head coach of the Alabama Roll Tide thinks everyone needs to slow their roll tide when it comes to football. He says there should not be a football play if it's less than 10 seconds after the last play! If you wait 10 seconds it gets safe to play again like how you have to wait half an hour after eating if you want to get in the ocean. You might get cramps and drowned! My cousin Trent says that lots of kids get dead like this at swimming pools every year so you have to be careful. That is the main factor why Nic Saban says slow down for health. His friend Bread Bielama also says the same thing and Beliema is the head coach at Arkansas Razorback U for at least five more games.

Some players do not finish Spring Football because of injuries. They can be hurt real bad or sometimes it is percautionary reasons. Coaches don't like to compare and contrast too much when it comes to superstar health so they just say "OK bucko, you heal up and go to class" and then everyone laughs because football is what you do instead of class. Like that is basically the whole point of being good at football. So the class thing is a joke for laughs. It is fun to laugh with your coaches in football.

If you make it all the way through Spring Football you get to play Spring Game 2014 against yourself. You are probably asking how a football team plays itself, well sit down and take a seat because this will amaze you. The offense plays right against the same team's defense in front of the whole crowd in a crucial matchup. They should call this game "are you my teammate or enemy" because it could be either one!! It just depends what side of the ball you are on at any given time. That is just like life if you think about it.

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Unfortunately since it is only a scrimbage, not everyone tries their hardest in Spring Game 2014. One time at Nebraska some kid wandered out on the field and scored a touchdown! Everyone thought he was Rex Grossman because of his jersey but if you look closely it is a little kid:

Everyone voted it the best moment of the year but if you ask me the defense did not try very hard at all. "Where is the effort around here" said Beau Pelini probably. They all gang up on him at the end but that is a unsportsmanlike foul! The referees were maybe so disgusted that they stopped the Spring Game 2013. That is why Coach Palini is so angry I bet. My Uncle Wally says Peleni needs to "shut his trap" and "coach football like a grown up." Uncle Wally once got arrested for disordedly conduct when he yelled at a police horse at Mardy Gras and then my dad yelled at him at Easter, it was awesome.

Even if your school does not let kids run on the field for touchdowns your Spring Game 2014 experience will or will not be the most exciteing experience of the year. That is the big question to compare and contrast. You have to remember it is just a game but depending on who wins or loses it will set the tone for a brand new year of football! Can you believe it is so close? I just wish... it was closer!!!

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In conclusion, College Football Offseason 2014 is in high gear, and there are many crucial factors for sports fans everywhere to chow down on. Thank you for reading.

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