Arian Foster takes on the NCAA despite the fact that he does things for free all the time

Arian Foster at Tennessee - J. Meric/Getty Images

Sorry Mr. Foster but I've got you dead to rights on this one, idiot. No offense.

Editorial note: PFT Commenter's strong takes are presented as PARODY. Sorry. Not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional ... we think.

Noted ex-fantasy football draft reach Arian Foster came out this morning guns blazing verse the University of Tennessee and the NCAA in general.

Putting on a Orange Jumpsuit and living rent-free for 5 years while working out doors is something that only 60% of Knoxvilles residents can claim, but Foster has the gall to sound off on the school that gave him a free ride?

As someone whose never attended college I have to say that a free education is probably worth more then anything else in the world, even money. It seems like a fair trade- Foster pays for his educaton in yards and downhill production, and the University of Tennessee gives him words, thoughts, and maths.

But no no no, thats all too logical for PAYrian COSTer.

So now hes complaining about the fact that his knees have powers that any professional meterologist would kill for?

Educated Fan: "Well do you have student loans to pay off Mr. Foster?"

Flippant Foster: "No but since I had so many girlfriends in college Ive got 2 dormant STDs that will be symptom-free for my entire life. Its terrible"

It seems that Arian is making the point that he should be paid for anything that he ever does. Well unlike your contract Arian, Im going to take that to a logical extension.

If your so upset at the NCAA for not paying you to do something heres a list of other activities you should be demanding compensation for:

  • Yoga- its a sport kind of. You can get hurt doing it, but you do it for free like all the time without launching a twitter tirade saying how every girl that wears stretchy pants owes you a million dollars. Funny how your saying "Namaste" not "Nah- must pay" every time you haul off and do a yoga. Thats a double standard and it means that you dont have a point about anything else that you ever say. Following along? Good.
  • Sex- Youve got a bunch of kids. You obviously enjoy sleeping with women, I get that I really do. But I guess we should pay you for that too right? Following this logic means your technically a gigolo and thats illegal. Sorry. Cant have it both ways. Either you play for free in college for a scholarship or your a sex offender in the eyes of the law.
  • Tuition commissions- I dont see you demanding royalties from Houston community colleges whenever someone signs up for introduction to philosophy just because someone in Galveston thought your acrostic poem about a crow without a dick or whatever was intresting. Sorry, but Im not sorry.
The only way college kids should be paid is if the athletes where [sic] bringing in hundreds of millons [sic] of dollars.

Im sorry but Foster is literaly being like Osama Bin Laden because hes using the taxpayer-funded education that the NCAA gave him, to help him form sentences and attack the same NCAA that helped him learn how to read and write and think in the first place. Do the math.

The only way that your argument that college kids should be paid money to play A GAME is if the athletes where bringing in hundreds of millons of dollars for each confrence and there likenesses were being used to sell programs, tickets, jerseys, video games, solicit money from boosters, incresase admissions to the college, pay for buildings, staff, generate money for the city, state, and natonal government, TV stations, newspapers, radio statons, cable companys but even still you should never get paid because its not fair.

This whole attitude you have is so selfish. The Constution says "WE the people" not "Foster the people." Although maybe you should spend your time trying to remember how to run run run faster then a bullet since you seem to of forgotten recently. Until then, just stick to tweeting out MRIs instead of WTFs.

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