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Liverpool and Stoke played a snoozer for 83 minutes, did something for the final seven, and finished with donuts on the scoreboard.
If you watched all 90 minutes of Sunday's contest between Stoke City and Liverpool: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Really, no human being should have to do that. But at the same time, if you did this by choice, you should have known what you were getting into.
Seriously, you expected something other than a 0-0 draw from this fixture?
Liverpool were, of course, the better-looking side. They had two-thirds of the possession, three times the shots, control of the midfield, etc. But every team always has this against Stoke, and Stoke always finish mid-table, so it's hardly an indicator of "playing the better football" against them. In reality, Tony Pulis' side executed their gameplan better than Brendan Rodgers' and got the more favorable result.
The Reds' closest call came in stoppage time, when Martin Skrtel hit the post on a set piece. Seven minutes before that, Luis Suarez hit the post with a nice shot from a difficult angle, but it was hardly unlucky. It would have taken some insane bit of skill to bend it inside the net. Liverpool's latest shot that actually required saving came in the 50th minute, which tells you everything you need to know about the match.
In short, a team with no strikers and no advanced playmakers drew Stoke 0-0, which is exactly what should happen. You can go to bed tonight secure in your knowledge that the world is not coming to an end, and that the Mayans were wrong.