Bunker Rake: Beljan survives Disney, Rory gets paid and more

Run, Charlie! Run as fast as you can! - Sam Greenwood

SB Nation Golf's Adam Fonseca offers his take on last week's golf news and tournament results all before his first cup of coffee. This isn't going to be pretty.

Like most Monday mornings after a professional golfer (literally) survives playing a golf tournament, I sprung out of bed with a vision of providing the SB Nation Golf faithful my personal take on everything that just happened the week prior in the sport. Previous fans of WaggleRoom.com will remember my attempt to sprinkle humor into what can be a pretty boring game.

Seriously; let's be honest. We're all friends here, right? Golf can be a little bland at times. It's not like we're talking about life and death here.

Oh, wait.

- Charlie Beljan almost died in the Happiest Place on Earth. Whether it was a panic attack, a cardiac event or some bad indigestion, PGA Tour rookie Charlie Beljan's health scare during the second round of the Children's Miracle Network Hospitals Classic in Orlando was damn frightening. The fact that he came back the next two days after being hospitalized and won the tournament is, as Beljan later said, "nothing short of a miracle". The theory that Mickey Mouse tried to kill a golfer is still being debated.

- Rory McIlroy keeps making a ton of money. Just weeks after signing a massive $200 million sponsor contract with Nike Golf, McIlroy officially captured both the PGA and European Tour money list titles after finishing third at the Singapore Open. Perhaps the young Northern Irishman can use some of his new found wealth to take lessons on what he should and should not post on Twitter. Like, I don't know, photos of his girlfriend while she is fast asleep. I anticipate it will be only a matter of time before girlfriend Caroline Wozniacki tweets a photo of her man curling his hair.

- Stacey Lewis wins LPGA Player of the Year Award despite being American. For the past few seasons on the ladies' tour, it seems that unless you're from Korea you aren't winning a darn thing. American star Stacey Lewis just squashed that idea by wrapping up player of the year honors after her fourth place finish at the Lorena Ochoa Invitational on Sunday. While Lewis is still too young to celebrate with her favorite adult beverage, rest assured that she texted all her BFFs throughout the night while listening to Taylor Swift droning about "never ever getting back together" with another loser. Some girls just have it so tough.

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