Donald Trump is not dead yet. But when President Obama’s biggest booster is ready for that ultimate comb-over, The Donald hopes that he and the raccoon tail atop his orange pumpkin face will spend kingdom come buried ‘neath the grounds of his Trump National Golf Course in Bedminster Township, N.J.
Giving new meaning to “I spent an eternity in New Jersey one night,” Trump was to bring his plans for two burial parcels -- one for him, his much-maligned coif, and his family; the other for lifetime members of Trump National -- before the Bedminster Township Committee Monday night.
No word yet on what local officials decided Monday, but they DQd a previous scheme that involved construction of a monument to Trump’s excess in the form of a gargantuan family vault that was to greet golfers on the first tee as well as passersby. The town overruled that design as being too tawdry and tasteless for Bedminster’s upscale, bucolic countryside.
“If he wants a mausoleum and he wants to do it for himself, and he wants to put that on the golf club proper, I don’t have a problem with that,” former town council member Sally Rubin told New Jersey Public Radio earlier this year. “It’s a large piece of property and he has a lot more flexibility there. But I did not want it on a scenic rural road in our community.”
Team Trump reportedly went back to the drawing board and came up with blueprints for a far less garish final resting spot for the bombastic New Yorker who counts the Tom Fazio-designed Trump National as his favorite among 12 courses in his expanding portfolio. In addition to scaling back a proposed 19-foot tall stone edifice with four Cialis-inspired pillars around the outside and an altar and six vaults inside on nine acres (according to several reports), Trump’s representatives reportedly agreed to build the cemetery on three acres within the boundaries of the course.
Should the town accept what NJ.com coined as Trump’s fairway to heaven, members who pay some $300,000 in annual fees will someday be able to join the “Celebrity Apprentice” emcee in eternal slumber.