Bunker Rake: Peter Senior takes it to the young whipper-snappers

Ryan Pierse

SB Nation contributor Adam Fonseca returns with another run down on last week's pro golf news.

Just in case you were more concerned with Johnny Football winning the Heisman Trophy than watching exciting European golf at 2 am, here's what you may have missed.

- Peter Senior becomes oldest player to win Australian Open - And doggone it, he looked good doing it! Peter Senior, 53, is one of the few golfers who was able to win a golf tournament while also living up to his surname. Other notable players include Johnny Plaid, Robert Flatulence and the memorable Felix Enlarged-Prostate.

Don't you just love it when older golfers find a way to persevere among those darn snot-nosed kids in their sport? Youngsters have no regard for their elders, what with their flashy clothes, flat-brimmed hats and all that hippin' and hoppin'. Golf was meant to be played by grumpy old grey-haired men who wear sweaters the color of their old souls; not bright parking cone orange or confetti-patterned slacks. Bullocks!

- Charl Schwartzel wins by 11 freakin' shots - Was the Thailand Golf Championship even a real tournament? I'm sorry, but the question has to be raised when Charl effing Schwartzel wins anything by 11 shots. His final score of a 25-under par 263 at the Amata Spring Country Club is not only incredible, but it made the South African appear like a major championship winner. Oh, wait... he won the Masters. Weird.

-Rory McIlroy wins something else - This time McIlroy won the European Golf Writers trophy, according to an announcement Monday morning. That's funny; I didn't know Rory was a golf writer. I knew he split most of his time among winning golf tournaments, beating Maria Sharapova in one-point tennis matches and destroying the One True Ring, but writing about golf while playing golf is impressive. Is there really anything this kid can't do? I half expect him to start fighting crime. (Note: Rory McIlroy is not a golf writer, but he'd probably be better at it than me)

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