Mankini-clad Australian golfer may face charges for indecent exposure

Matthew Lloyd

Bet those dress-code fascists at Miami Beach’s La Gorce Country Club would feel kinda foolish about hassling Michael Jordan for wearing cargo shorts if they got a load of a certain golfer who turned heads -- and likely a few stomachs -- Down Under as he traipsed the fairways in nothing but a mankini.

The pudgy, Borat-inspired hacker walked tall and carried a stick of indeterminate length as he celebrated Boxing Day by strutting his mostly unfettered stuff in a skimpy neon green garment on a semi-private track in the Northern Territory where dress is clearly optional.

"He was seen on the course at the RAAF Darwin Golf Club trying to beat the heat in the mankini. It's a case of 'spot the ball -- or balls,'" observer Jeannine Williams told NT News. "Only in the Territory."

Sacha Baron Cohen is responsible for the sartorial splendor that is the mankini. The British comedian donned a man-sized version of the bikini in his 2006 movie, "Borat," after which the v-shaped outfit made it into the sports world.

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(Photo: George Pimentel/WireImage via Getty Images, file)

Australian double trap shooter Russell Mark vowed to wear what the Concise Oxford English Dictionary defines as a "men's one-piece bathing garment with a T-back" to the London opening ceremonies of the Olympics earlier this year after losing a bet involving Aussie football. (Since we could find no record of Mark making good on his wager, we’re guessing he lacked the, ahem, stuff, to pull off such a fashion statement.)

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Now it seems that the unnamed duffer who played a round in nothing but his Borat and spikes may be in trouble with the law. NT News reported on Saturday that several Territory residents were shocked! shocked! about the goings-on at Darwin GC and have threatened to press charges, though police sources said they had yet to receive a formal complaint.

So as we wonder what the heck is in the water Down Under -- what with roaring dinosaurs and linksters lining up putts in their birthday suits -- we pose this question of La Gorce scolds -- exactly what, again, was so offensive about those pockets on the outside of Jordan’s shorts?

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